Friday, October 31, 2008


today is Halloween and I've just added the finishing touches to the "Bone Yard" in front of the house,complete with yellow caution tape some small flying witches, pumpkins and skeletons. why you ask am i going through all this? first because we are Halloween people in this house,second because the kids like it and third because the dog thinks this is her private bathroom and try has we do to keep it clean you
just never see last but not least we're trying to stay on good terms with the parents of the ghost and ghouls.
my husband likes Halloween its one of his favorite holidays.we all remember being
children and trick or treating and maybe getting into a little trouble but it was all in good fun and everyone needs to blow some steam off every now and then.
when i was in catholic school the nuns did not think very highly of this holiday they wanted you to go to church at night, it was all souls day you know, and if you were to dress up to wear things that did not cojure up the demons.personally i say let kids be kids but it doesn't hurt if you do push them away from the really creepy costumes after all their only kids.
now that my son is an adult i in all honesty can say i like being home rather then dragging a bunch of kids out in the dark cold weather,its nice to be the one handing out the candy rather then worring about getting run down by passing cars.
So happy Halloween to all and watch out for the black cats and scary noises.boooo....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

book reading: My Jesus Year

i have been reading a book called My Jesus Year written by Benyamin Cohen.
although the book is not the most exciting it does have allot to say.
Benyamin was raised in an orthodox Jewish family. his father and 3 brothers are all rabbis and his sister is married to one. his wife is an ex christian who converted to Jewish orthodoxy,her father was an ex minister who left his faith when she was a child.
Benyamin has tired of his religion with so many rules and the loss of joy from a personal relationship with God he had once known has a child. he decides he wants to know why the christian church across the street draws so many people on Sunday while his own Synagogue draws very few on the sabbath. he goes to the rabbi who helped his wife convert to Judaism, who agrees that Ben may spend one year attending christian events but only if he wears his skull cap and his name badge from the magazine he writes for and at no time is he to fool any one into thinking he is in any way a christian,he must be honest with every one he interviews.
being from Atlanta gives him the opportunity to attend all sorts of things from mega churches to wrestling matches and christian concerts.he tries out Christmas at his in laws home, complete with kosher cooking and gift giving and goes to an outdoor Easter morning sunrise service, he attends multiple small church services from baptist to methodist,evangelical to episcaple. from a black jewish group who beleave in plural marriages to trapist monks.
has iam reading this book i'm begining to see the same problems we has Orthodox Christians are trying to wrestle with for example how important are things like: food,riual, songs or no songs, prayer, chanting. How do we get nearer to God and still follow rituals? how can we get more people to fill the pews (especially our own people)? how do you move forward but still follow church tradition? does services have to be on the sabbath or when its more convent to peoples schedules?what can be changed in the faith that makes church relevant to the people attending but still follows the letter of church law? how do we make church an important part of our every day lives?
At the end of every chapter Benyamin begins to under stand what he has to do to make every thing in his religion more relevant to his situation. maybe this is why people convert over from other faiths because we are looking for the real reason to be nearer to God, trying to find relevant answers that allow us to make our faiths a living relationship with God. Following the rules but not allowing the rules to be the most important part of our relationship.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

imploder vs. exploder

this morning started out by my thinking about explosive and implosive people.
so after having breakfast i went to kiss the boo-boos site and Laura had posted on anger. funny how things happen..esp...woo i wonder..scary...God works in mysterious ways....
any ways when i was in nursing school during my last quarter we had to do what was called "leadership", we were required to go to the hospital site early ,pick 7 patients, read their case histories, then assign each students a patient, give them a run down and pass all the meds to these 7 patients,oh did i tell you after we got the meds we then had to explain the drugs,there side effects, why its used and why this patient is using this the end of the day you went to each student found out how his/her patient was and do a general review, give a report about each patient how their day went and out comes of test.
when my day came to do this my instructor decided one of the patients i was to do had over 20 medications and 2 shots i explained to the instructor i though this would be to difficult for me,she just walked away.
in the hospital they use machines to dispense the medications you push the patients code and doors start to open,hit the wrong button and all the doors and draws open, hit another and they all slam shut and to add to the excitement other nurses on the floor trying impatiently to get what they need.
this machine and i were not on friendly terms it always gave me a hard time and frustration turned into anxiety and true to form my leadership day was no different.
after what seemed like forever i got all the drugs for this woman then drew up the syringes after explaininmg all the drugs to my instructor we walked down to the patients room, only for me to almost have an anxiety attack.with sweat dripping off me and my heart racing to the point i thought i would pass out we walked into the room i did all the right things and when i uncapped the syringe with the insulin the needle was bent.i just stood there and stared at it thinking my nursing career was melting in front of my instructor took the needle away from me,we told the patient we'd be back.she then told the other students to get ready they were passing their own drugs today.
later the instuctor told me there are two types of people exploders and imploders and i was definitely an imploder.needless to say i spent the next 3 days proving to her i would be safe has a nurse passing all the other students drugs with no problems,even the machine co operated with me.
so here we are some people are exploders, my husband is one of these,every little thing can set him off not finding a pen or book can send him into a state of panic and anger with all those names of the almighty coming out every remedy i either try to help him find what he's looking for, laugh because i can't see why any one would get so upset over some thing so mundane,or i take off until he feels his defense he has calmed down with age and with going to church.
i on the other hand am an imploder i tend to get angry with myself and feel like a failure.usually i walk away or ignore what just happened, my mother used to say "once
you say something you can never take it back the wound will always be there so watch what you say". in my defense i have become better my friend fr. peter has made me see that its alright to get angry we all i try to pick my battles and decide if this is worth my anger, am i getting angry because of the problem facing me or some thing else under lying that is just setting me off.
we all have anger issues we just need to put them into context try to figure out why were angry,ask for forgiveness for what we've done and remember even Jesus got angry but when he did he did it for a reason or to prove a point. Jesus also shows us that every one needs quite times, meditation and prayer we need to center our selves
in order to handle our problems.
usually if we are always angry its because we are not taking the time to let God help us. we think we can do it all by our selves handle every thing goes against our grain to love an angry person but sometimes we need to understand that is what God meant when he stressed love and forgive, not only of others but also of our selves

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

universal health care

i work in the state of Massachusetts and because i do i belong to a HMO.
in case you do not know this state has mandatory health insurance.all residents of this state are required by law to have health insurance.i am fortune my company helps pay for my insurance. but i know many people who can not afford health insurance
because they are self employed,they make $30,000.00 or more and are considered to wealthy to get assistance from the state.where does it leave these people?in the position of being fined by their wonderful state when they file their state taxes. having spoken with these people they tell me its easier to pay the fine then try to pay the insurance.most of these people are single and do not have a spouse to help relieve the burden placed on them by the state and its mandates.
so where does all this leave the state of Massachusetts? in trouble I'm afraid.several months ago the state said they were going to be one billion dollars in debt and this month Gov. Patrick has been making attempts to cut back on all sorts of things. allot of the people who are poor have been getting assistance from the government through medicaid, which is not what this money is to be used for, for several months now the government has been threatening to stop funding related to the fact that this money is ear marked for the disabled and the elderly through out the country.
Gov. Patrick is now saying he wants companies to start paying more into the state to help with these shortages. we'll that will really make a company want to stay here now won't it.
lets talk about the burden being placed on the health care system it self.with every one having health insurance there is now a shortage of doctors and nurses. my own doctor now works 2 days in Webster and 3 days in auburn and trying to get to see him requires me to call for a physical months in advance.
so whats the answer? im not sure but what i do know there is not enough working people out there to pay for the people who don't work and need health insurance.
besides why work at a good paying job and advance if you know the more money you make the more will be taken from you to pay every one else insurance? if we get universal health care who will be entitled to it and how much will you get? will every one be entitled to the best or just basic care? will research companies and pharmacies still be willing to make progress and advancements if they know the government will not be funding everyone to use thier products and inventions?
capitalism requires all people to work for what they have but what about those who are unable to work, should we be paying for illegal aliens to go to emergency rooms in order to get free health care or should they be turned away or sent back to their own country for their needs.
this health care situation is truly a mess and until our politicans can sit down and work these problems out, for the good of the people, we are just going to keep drowning

Monday, October 27, 2008

traditional medicine vs. holistic

we live in a world with all kinds of choices of health care. you can go traditional which deals with medical doctors and pharmacological drugs derived from natural and non natural ingredients or holistic.
if you get a chance go over to fr.peters website you can listen to his Shepard of souls pod cast number this episode he interviews a nurse practitioner who deals with holistic medicines.
holistics deals with not only the body but the mind and spirit.they believe stress, misalignment and diet can cause pain and sickness to the body. what we eat has well has what we think are all part of our make up this equals our wholeness.
i believe in both i think if you can handle a problem with traditional or holistic medicine and it works for you and go for it,who am i to know how your body make up will react to each treatment.
the only problem i have with holistic medicine is it can cause allot of guilt to the sick person if he has done these approaches and still ends up with cancer,heart disease or has a stroke.we all are made up of genetics which are programed at some point to kick in and cause disease of some sort.unfortunately we are all going to die from something and that's one of those things we have no control over.
but until we get to that point we need to do what ever we are able to to try and be the healthiest we can be not matter which approach we choose.

palm plant ,my new boarder

yesterday when i came home i had a pleasant surprise there sitting on my newspaper recycling bin was a friend of mine from church,he stands about 3 feet tall and his green silky leaves were spread out to me one over the microwave and one peeking down my small hall way.
this sweet little palm plant got to make his performance on Palm Sunday then after Pasha he became relegated to the out doors behind the church with his other 2 palm plant friends.
during the summer while fixing up the patio area on the side of the rectory, Laura and i decided to take a minute and admire the new windows being put into our church. i happened to walked around the back of the building and found these 3 sad little plants looking very courageous with their little pots sitting on a sand pile.
we'll being nature loving people, Laura and i decided that these little guys needed a place of honor again, so we moved them to the patio area to be eyed and enjoyed by all who came to visit st.Michael, through the summer and fall.
but alas the warm weather is over and they ended up in the church basement. i asked my husband Sunday to pick one up after coffee hour, to make his home with us through the cold months and maybe,if i don't send him to his demise, he will be able to make his grand appearance next Palm Sunday.
i have to admit Palm Sunday has always been a favorite of mine. i can see Jesus sitting on a donkey riding into the city while people are throwing palms and robes on the ground for this simple animal carring this great and holy cargo on his back.i can almost hear the crowds yelling "hosanna, hosanna blessed is he"
i was very fortunate to be chrismated on this holy day, i really did not feel worthy enough to be made a part of the orthodox church on pasha evening, but Palm Sunday made me very happy.there is truly something so wonderful about this holy and blessed day and i feel lucky to be able to take this little plant home and see him every day unil spring comes again and maybe if all works out he will be back in St.Micheal in his place of honor again.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

canadian fest

after work yesterday my husband and i went to Putnam for the first ever Canadian fest.they boasted of crafts,food and traditional Canadian music.
i thought since all of my grandparents came here from Canada it would be interesting to hear traditional music and see traditional dance since I'm not sure what is traditional to priest fr.peter has ancestors who came from Scotland and settled in nova scotia. so his traditional dance should be something Gaelic. my relatives came from France and settled in Quebec, so what do we do the minuet? just kidding
to my surprise the music and dance was very much like what the people who came from Canada and settled in Louisiana do,i think arcadian is what its called and the dancing reminded of what people the in the hills of kentucky did in the 1930s'.
it was also nice to hear french Canadian spoken,when i was a child that's all my grandparents could speak, i never really got to verbalize much with them although every time we would visit my grandfather would try his hardest to get me to say " good night" in french, poor man try has he would i just couldn't get it or remember it.
now days i'm much better at understanding Parisian then Canadian french. but for my grand fathers sake here goes...."Bonne nuit, grand p`ere

Friday, October 24, 2008

lack of enthusiasm

every now and then while reading i come across something that just inspires me or at least makes me open my eyes. today while reading a book the author talks about how a church is not an organization but an organism. when one person lacks enthusiasm in a church the entire congregation praying suffers.he discusses how empty a house of worship can be if no one wants to pray. all the bells, whistles and ornate architecture doesn't make a church inherently holy its the parishioners . even modest
surroundings can be transformed into the most spiritual sanctuaries.he said "we build a monument to where God was, not where God is."
every Sunday at the end of our service we sing "blessed be the name of the Lord,blessed be tne name the name of the Lord hence forth and for ever more." every time we sing this song i notice the lack of enthusiasm. it is dragged out and dull and every time i hear this song i think "come on people listen to the beauty of these word sing it like you mean it folks." this is suppose to be an up lifting song your talking about how blessed the name of the Lord is the one who gave you life how beautiful and fortunate we are to have him, his name all by its self is blessed not only today but to the end of the world and beyond.

men and gas cans

once again i have come to the conclusion that i do not understand men !!!!!!!!!
this morning my son went out to start his car, which sputtered and bucked several times then refused to start again. he came into the house and asked for a ride to work because his car would not run. i agreed then said what do you think is wrong with it he answered "well its either to cold and it wont start or I'm out of gas".i said is the little white line on the "e" for empty? he said yes,i said, not being a mechanic and all, personally i would go with the empty gas theory myself.
this is not a generational thing all men of all ages are the same when it comes to empty gas tanks. I'm not sure if they feel the car is lying to them when it says empty or they just have a need for dominion over this metal object.either way it makes no sense to me.
this is an all male thing, many is the time I've been on interstate 395 or routes 131, 20 or 12 and have seen a lone male figure with his red gas can walking to the nearest gas station for fuel,it must be a hunter gatherer thing except with out the spear.
i don't know if they feel like just driving by a gas station will fill the tank like osmosis but trust me on this one fellows empty is empty no matter how many stations you drive by or is it the $1 or 2 you can save by trying to get to the cheapest station, i need to tell right now it isn't worth the mile walk in the dead of night,the rain or freezing cold, money looses it luster when your wet.
women on the other hand would not do this if nothing else i always check my gas level, i may not check anything else but by God if I'm going to get stuck its going to be for a very good, not to mention very expensive reason, i refuse to walk for $30.00 worth of gas.
i asked my husband this morning, when he got up, what is it with you guys you would never see a woman marching down the road with gas can in hand, why do you think that is? he said because they have triple A, boyfriends and husbands who will come get them or walk the can to the gas station for them. men you got to love them, I'm not sure why but you really do have to love them...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

women priest ?

here is a hot topic for everyone should women be priest?
last night after our St. James srvice we went to the church hall to enjoy some our table we got to enjoy the company of a person from an orthodox church in worcester.since everyone at this table had converted over to the orthodox faith we started talking about why we converted,what was important to us has christians and orthodox followers and should woman be allowed to be priest.
this is always an interesting subject since first it will probably never happen and second because people seem passionate about it.
some people feel that being a woman allows us to emulate the blessed virgin and follow her and this should be enough.lets face she does encompass woman hood at its best, is a saint and when she said yes to God she showed ultimate faithfulness and courage (remember this was a time when being preganat before marriage could get you stoned to death).some people feel that since Jesus did not call women to be one of his 12 choosen then we are not permitted to consider this possiblity. the apostiles were men and has such only men can be priest.
i on the other hand have always felt women should be allowed to be priest,growing up in a faimly with 2 aunts who were nuns i never saw a reason why these holy women were not given the oppurtunity to advance to this if they so desired,trust me these 2 women lived religous lives and followed strict vows of poverty and prayer.
i think a calling is a calling and if you can advance the cause of God who cares if your a woman or a man.many religions have women ministers and some also have woman priest but the catholic and orthodox churches just can't see woman has having importance.up until about 30 years ago women were not even allowed to be members of our church thats why womens groups were started,woman sat to the left side of the church and men to the right,(in the orthodox church the right hand is the hand of God,it is correct)
my argument for priesthood is that three of the four people who stood at the foot of the cross were woman.they didn't seem to care that they could be arrested or crucified next to Jesus.
back in the early days women were allowed to be deacons they got to work with the women of the church because the priest was unable and it was either St. Peter or St. Paul that talks about a woman with his group whom he sent out to spread the word.
there are many women who were martyed for the faith has well has men and we have feast days and cellebrate these me woman have proven their worth to the faith.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

in search of sr.elaine

when i was in grammar school i had a very young sister who just started teaching at our school. she was blond and very sweet in nature.when she would go on retreat she would come back and tell me "i saw your aunt this weekend and she said to say hi
to you", my aunt also belonged to this group of sisters.
many years passed and i forgot about her until in 2006 at my fathers funeral while
waiting for them to bring the casket up the stairs of the church, so my sister and i could accompany it to the alter, an older sister came to me and introduced her self explained to me that when my aunt entered the convent she was her room mate,she had come because my aunt who had Alzheimer's was unable to attend so she came in my aunts place.
for some odd reason i began to think about Sr.Elaine and wonder how she was. several time i went on line and typed her name in but at the time was not sure what her last name was so i gave up.
in 2007 while in the process of selling my fathers house i had to bring paper work to the realtor since my agent was not there i sat and talked to the owner, who is some one i went to grammar school with. we got to talking about different nuns we had and i mentioned Sr.Elaine's name.she said she was friends with some one who is a nun and would get me the info i needed.
later that week the realtor called me to give me Sr.Elaine's email address and home address but unfortunately we had a bad rain storm that day and the message left on the answering machine was scratchy and most of the address was unclear. i threw my
hands up and said that's it I'm done.
after the sale of my fathers house i got the feeling that i needed to know how Sr. Elaine was doing i thought about how old she might be and what she was doing with her life.i went on the computer typed in what i thought was her full name and found out she was a principle in Rochester New York but had quit her position related to them wanting to close the school. once again back to square one. i said to myself "Lord if for what ever reason you want me to find her help me find her if not let me just forget this whole thing and move on with my life."
2 weeks ago i got the feeling again that i needed to find her and this time said if this leads no where then i give up for good.i went on the computer typed in her name and after several tries found out she was the superintendent of catholic schools down south, i got to see a picture of her and thought well that kind of looks like her but I'm not sure. i took the address of the diocese in that area and sent her a letter with my email address.
last night while checking out my emails i had one from Sr.Elaine i had indeed found her and she was very happy to hear from me.she said "you made my day". has soon as i received this i felt like the search was over i knew she was alright and i was
at peace again.i have no idea why this seemed so important to me but its strange how things happen.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

gaming in conn.

one day Ann found herself in a tough position her husband lost his job,her child was thrown out of school,the house was going to be repossed and their was little food in the house.Ann decided to pray to her patron said.dear st.---- please help me I'm in bad shape help me win the lottery soon.the next week things got worse so Ann
once again prayed to her st. to help her win the lottery. by the third week things were desperate oh my patron saint help me,no answer came, so she prayed more fervently saint why are you not helping me. suddenly the saint appeared to her and said in order to win the lottery you have to have a ticket.
i live in a state with 2 casinos and multiple lottery's to be played and if you can't get enough from this state try Mass.Rhode Island,New York or maybe New Jersey.if you have or do not have the money gambling is every where to be found.
the state says these are good things because they help pay for the schools,funny every year my property taxes go up and they tell me about 80% of the town budget goes to the schools.where is all this money they keep talking about?
i have a problem with a state who feels it has to raise money by lottery from what i understand most people who abuse the lottery and casinos are not rich. the lottery is the poor mans tax.everyone has this need to win big and never have to work again.
but why are we put here if all we want to do is spend our lives sitting home,watch t.v. and play with the computer.
they say all this gaming is not a bad thing that most people are not effected by it and only a few people are out of control they are not poor or desperate people.
all i can say is the last time i went to the casino i thought i was in a rehab facility people had wheelchairs,walkers and oxygen tanks not just some but what seemed like 50%.(maybe its because I'm a nurse i tend to key in on certain people).
one time my husband and i were early for a concert and we decided to eat at the food court while there i saw a little old man walk up to a table where some children had just finished eating,they did not discarded their pizza crust and i watched this gentleman walk over to the table look around then sneak the crust and eat it. now tell me who does all this gambling effect?

marijuana should it be legal?

i remember very little about the hippie generation since i was only around 7 at the time.all i remember is driving down main street in Webster mass.some hippies were crossing the street, my father rolled down his window and yelled out "hey Jesus Christ and the apostles why don't get a hair cut"unfortunately i was unable to crawl under the front seat at the time.(you know thirty years from now when I'm in the nursing home the psychiatrist will look at me and say Linda lets talk a little about this obsessive need you have to crawl under your chair every time you room mate combs her hair,now theres an ativan moment,thanks dad.)
back in the days of the hippies illicit drugs were used to enlighten and expand the mind they said it allowed them to see things more clearly and understand the real purpose of the world.
10 years after this generation came my group we were looking for fun disco and drugs we were not using drugs to enlighten the mind but to blow it.cocaine not heroin were the big drugs everything was for partying.when i was in high school i remember kids smoking dope in the bathrooms,across the hall from the class rooms and the teachers not doing anything about it.
now California has legalized the use of dope,marijuana,for use by sick people,which i don't have a problem with i deal with narcotics on a daily basis and see the positive use of drugs on pain.unfortunately being California they have gotten bad prscriptions from doctors who don't care who wants it.this then becomes abuse of the system.
my husband, who is 12 years older then me, belonged to the generation who saw drugs has enlightenment he feels we should legalize marijuana that people should not be put in jail for using dope but for selling the stuff,since it fills the jails up for the wrong reason. i on the other hand have known people who have become addicted to drugs and became a drain on society not to mention it is illegal.people using the stuff and get caught need to be punished in some way,you did break a law.
to me marijuana should be used has a legal drug and regulated just like any other narcotic.a law is a law and until we make it legal it illegal

Monday, October 20, 2008

trying for new followers

today on fr.peters blog he talks about how he can get more people to become part of his church,st.michael. this is a very hard time in history religion is not a big part of peoples lives and conversion is even more difficult.
people who are original to this church are at times more interested in the social events then the litugical events although when it come to services they are more into how it has always been done and not why is it done and is it correct.
most peoples children who are grown adults with kids of their own do not attend because they either belong to their spouses religion or were turned off from when they were children.
the converts to the church find a great deal of difficulty with this attitude because they joined the church for the faith,they are not so concerned about the picnics and parties and the traditions they are more centered on the faith and spiritualism.
its difficult to grow a church if you can't get every one on the same page. orthodoxy is not a religion that is used to going out into the community and helping in food banks,hospital and prisons but this is were we need to go to start.will people convert over iam not so sure of this but i do know this is what we has christians are called to do and this is very frightening to some people, its hard to get out of our comfort zones and make ourselfs vounrable.
the problem with most people is they do not attend church because they say they get nothing out of it missing the point of liturgy which is we go to praise God not the other way around.
we live in a time where we do not understand the master servent relationship that was common in the time of Jesus. a servent is to be at the beckon call of his master day and night and in return the master bestows on this person what he feels is necessary for the good of the servent.i think people feel that God is equal to us and has such we expect him to be our its most basic loving form it is a farther child relationship with God has the father and we has the children, meaning he leads and we follow because he knows whats right not us.

hospice in the nursing home

after leaving one of my patients on friday when i came in today she did not look well this morning. she and her family decided during the weekend to make her cmo(comfort measures only) we do only what will make her comfortable and nothing else unless the family or patient request i spoke with the daughter who in tears asked me to make sure her mother was not going to suffer.i had to bring the subject of hospice to her, this is always very uncomfortable for the family because they have just come to the realization that the end of life is near but they has a child will be losing their parent and friend. it never matters how old your parents are loosing them is always very traumatic.
i am not allowed to push hospice on a family but i am allowed to ask if they have considered it or will take the time to think about it.
hospic is one of the best groups we have in our nursing home they send rn.s' who specialize in death and dying and make suggestions on how to help these patients to transition into the inevidable, they have aides who spend an hour a day with the person doing things like manicures listening to music and just talking with them,things our aides do not have time to do since they take care of 10 patients a piece. also they have their own ministry fr. john is one of the best to help patients meet their spiritual needs and make some sort of peace with God.
this would be a very depressing job for most people but these special dedicated people are some of the best and always rise to the occasion when they are needed. they are sympathetic to the end and feel great loss when the person passes away.i'm sure God has a very special place for these very special people.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

wrights chicken farm

last night some of the people from our church went out to rhode island to a place called wrights chicken farm.they serve all you can eat chicken,salad,macaroni with sauce and french fries. we had a realy nice time and it helps get those poeple in Southbridge out to another state,only kidding.
i like these events because im kind of a social person so this encompasses two of my passions eating and talking.
its nice to be with people on social events that take us away from the allows us to talk about the things going on in our lives and meet new people because some of us bring friends or family with us who would not other wise take the time to attend church or maybe they are not of the orthodox faith,since many of us are converts.we also do not push religion when we do these things so no one feels like their being evngalised to fr.peter says "no sheep stealing ".
Jesus spend many times in the bible eating with people by doing these types of meals i understand why they were so important to the bringing in of the fold.people need to have their basic needs meet first then you can work on their spiritual needs when they are ready.i think it was marslow (a phsychiatrist) who studied and defined mans higher atrctical needs he said basic needs must be met then you keep moving up the ladder until you can help meet their social and spiritual needs allowing them to become a complete person.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

memory eternal

today sarted off by my husband and i attending a 40 day memorial service for one of our the end of the service we did the memorial part where the priest prays and pours wine over a mixture of wheat,nuts, breadcrumbs and honey anyways toward the end of the service we sing "memory eternal" three times and father chants and may our memory be eternal from generation to generation.
i have never understood this part our we saying this for the sake of God, the dead or the living.
it can't be for God because he knows we are with him his son Jesus said all our hairs are numbered by him,he holds us in the palm of his hand and he considers us the apple of his eye. so its not for his sake.
could it be for the sake of the dead, well from what i understand even when we are dead we still need the prayers of the living to interceed for us, this is one of those things i'm not really all that clear about becuse when our time comes to be judged it will be between God and us and we will have to answer for our sins.
maybe its for the sake of the living because we are attached to the world and our lifes and have a need to be remembered. we need monuments and memorials and want our future generations to remember who we were.
back in the 70s there was a song it said "dust in the wind all we are is dust in the wind everything is dust in the wind. don't hang on nothing last forever but the earth and skis we drift away and all your money wont another minute buy."
i tend to like this song from what i understand we were put on this earth to glorify God by leaving his mark not ours on this world by touching other peoples lives. maybe i've missed the whole point of this song today maybe i'm making to much out of it.Benjamin Franklin said it doesn't matter what the future say about us we will be long gone and not hear it.


i read with great interest this morning fr.peters' blog about helping to do over 100 hundred confessions at a church in Warren Mass. for the conversion of the emanuel church to the western rite orthodox church.(please check this out at fr.s' site you will find this story interesting.)
i have only been a convert to the orthodox church for several years now and still to this day find cofessing the othodox way very uncomfortable,which i guess its supose to be.when i was catholic we got to go into a nice dark box kneel down and say bless me fr. for i have sinned, this was kind of nice because it gave you a starting off point a salutation of sorts like dear sir in a letter, it gave you time to get you mind in order.
to this day when i do confession with fr.peter,who is very soft spoken and gentle,i get all chocked up when he stops his praying and says alright say what you have sinned,not exactly in those words.its almost like an actor going on stage and hoping you don't forget your lines.i realize that i will not remeber everything i need to say even though i spend several days going over things in prayer i think are important, to say them all seems to escape me.
fr. always teases and says remember the first christians used to have to confess to the entire congregation in the front of the church when this all started.
fr. spoke in his blog about giving confession last night to people who had not been in more then 30 years.i myself was the same way when i did confession with fr.peter before i was chrismated into the orthodox faith.
we in the orthodox faith do not beleave in penance after confessions like the catholics do. this does not mean we should not be sorry for our sins and pray but its up to us and the priest, if he feels there is some act we need to do to make things right, we believe we need to go to our fr.the priest who knows and understands us best so we csn work these things out together.we also beleive that after you confess you are forgiven by God not by the priest.
it must be very hard to be a priest and listen to all those confessions i assume it must be like when im at work and a patient confides in me about a personal issue they are having i tend to zero in on the problem try to help them. when i leave the room a tear may come to my eye about their pain,i say a small prayer for them and move on to the next issue after i've helped make their problem right.
forgiveness is important not just for the sin but for your self, if you don't hear out loud what you have done wrong it will not be planted in your brain what you did and that its over now.its like being sick you can treat a cut but when the wound becomes to bad you must see a doctor and get the professional help you need.
mother theresa,who went to confession every week, said our soul is like a crystal and our sins are like dust that accumulates if you do not clear the dust off, it will never glow the way it should when the light hits uncomfortable or not every now and then you need to have the dust blown away so Gods sunlight can shine through us to the rest of the world that is so desperately in need of his light.

Friday, October 17, 2008

ready to vote?

i am one of the lucky ones i know who i will be voting for for president. this should make me feel settled, right? wrong!! i'm realy disappointed in our choices this year and am tired of being constantly bombared by the media (for 19 months mind you) to vote for who they feel i should vote for.every chance they get they praise their choice, down the other side and throw thier opinon down my throat. i don't know about you but i remember when russia was a communist state and told their people who to vote for because they knew what was best not the people.
things like this frighten me it dosen't take much to push us over the line to laziness and allow our goverment to take care of us. this smacks of scocialism.
if the goverment takes care of us what is the point in working hard, you gain nothing in the end. what about original ideas and creativity? it can all be washed to the side and we can let the goverment be our parents. our we ready to give our righs away because we're to lazy to stand up and fight or to complacient or maybe just to tired.
its hard to fight its easier to lay down and give up.
how embarassed our fore fathers must be, you know the ones who signed the declaration of independence and pledged their life, libery and every thing they owned to make us free. i think it was benjamin franklin who said if you are willing to give up some liberty for security then you deserve neither liberty nor security.
so before you walk into the polling booth (or up to the polling desk i should say)
remember were all in this together either we sink or swim. we have always been very lucky to have the right president at the right time i just hope our luck is not running out.
i'll bet the romans never thought their empire would end but end it did and now they are nothing but a relic of history.i don't know about you but i think democracy and capitalism are worth saving. but only time will tell.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

parental influence and money

i got to thinking about money the other day and how i raised my child. when my son was growing up we did not have alot but we did alright we had a small house, food on the table and heat unfortunately we also had credit cards which i never ran up huge bills but always had credit debit.i tried to instill in him the importance of having a good credit rating and trying to keep debit free,i would tell him if you have a good credit history you are in charge of the loans you can take out your not stuck taking loans that are given to you.
well being from his generation he made foolish moves with his credit and although he has paid his bills off he is now going to reap the consiquinces if some day he decides to buy a house, credit intrest will be what they give him not what he can negotiate for.
many younge people from his age group have filed bankrupcy and are unable to pay debit that is way out of their reach. my mother used to say "people get married today and want all the things it took your father and i thirty years of married life to work for."
but i can say on the plus side of money my son is generous to the poor he will stop and buy someone food or give change to someone who is begging and the other day i heard him say we'll money isn't all their is in this life using it for the things you need is more important the just the things you want, may be we has parents in the end do have an influence on our children maybe they need to make the mistakes in order to realize what we said made sense can you imagine, maybe something i said stuck somewhere, you just never know.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

the great depression

sunday evening i was watching a program on the history channel about the dust bowl, trust me i learned more about sand then i really wanted to know,anyways it told how the people who stayed tried to survive. the goverment at the time would not help them because they were also in the midst of the great depression and fdr wasn't in office yet.
this morning i got to thinking about my grandparents who were young married adults with children an immigrats to this country from canada.when my grandparents were growing up they came from large families and were farm hands. none of them had more then a grade school education and left canada because there was no work but this would work toward their favor when the depression hit because these were people who not only knew how to live with out but also beleaved in saving money, not a great deal but enough to get granparents had vegtable gardens(even though they always rented apartments none of them owned property)they raised chickens, canned, made their childrens clothes,fixed their own shoes and bought only what they had to.
these people were also deeply religous and never expected to own everything they wanted and probably didn't care if they ever did they made do. They were close knit familys who helped not only relatives but neighbors and friends when able..
i remember my parents telling me when they were growing up the played board games after supper my mothers father painted a board game on an oil cloth and they used buttons has playing pieces,when my mothers mother passed away at 46 years old during world war 2 she had saved $900. for her 3 children to split ( today most people who work and make good money can not save a dime because our need for material things is way out of whack we want quick gratification)
they were a brave tough group and don't get alot of recognition for the kind of people they were.we talk about the greatest generation the ones who fought selflisly in ww2 but lets remember who raised those people to be who they were. these people didn't have much but they loved their children and this was proven has we their grandchildren grew up we were blessed with many loving aunts and uncles and has cousins we are always there for each other. what more of a legacy can you leave future generations then to be a loving family to each other.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


a few nights ago while flipping through the channels i came accross the last 20 minutes of the movie "where the boys are" since there wasn't anything else on i thought i'd watch it.the story was about some college kids who came to the beach for break anyways in one of the last parts of the movie the pretty blonde girl is hanging around with the wrong kind of guy,you know the kind that drinks and parties with his bad friends. she decides to call him to meet her at a hotel well in walks one of his druken friends. she stands there and says"no,no, oh please no" she dosen't try to leave and they insinuate that she gets raped. she calls her friends to come get her and they find her walking down the center of the street all disshoveled. she ends up in the hospital were she acts like its all her fault and says something along the line of "now i'll never be able to marry a nice man."
my friend martha told me that this movie was considered very racey in its time. when she went to nursing school in 1968 she was so innocent she had no idea about the male form until she took anatomy and did her hospital clinicals
wow have things changed
now days you can't even watch a commercial on tv without seeing woman in bras and men in briefs. i'm no prude but commercials about femminen highgene products are offensive to me.there are times and places to talk and show these things and why do we feel its alright for children to see this stuff on primetime. we seem to want our children to grow up to fast and i can't understand what it is we feel is so wrong about letting kids be kids and not forcing things like birth control, homosexuality and condoms on kids in grammar school (some even has young has kidnergarden), when i was a child i was pretty protected by my parents and didn't see things on tv that could not be viewed by the whole family.true the shows back in the 70's were pretty corny but they at least had values,morals and consiquences. i don't watch many prime time shows any more because all of it is toilet humor even the kids cartoons.
we have an entire life to be an adult but only a small number of years to be a care free, fun loving child.why do we insist on denying our children what we were given the chance to be innocent.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


i don't think there is anything more beautiful then two people dancing the waltz. a man in a cut away and tails and a woman in a light flowing dress dancing on the floor in rythme and moving has one. i have to admit there are many times while going through the t.v. channels i have stumbled apon Fred Astair and i will sit through the whole silly thing just to watch this master of dance with his co-star waltz across the floor it bring my heart to a flutter.
when i was a senior in high school my friend laura (not the laura i have recently blogged about)and i took an adult ball room dance class, once a week for 6 weeks we would spend an hour trying to learn the beauty and grace of ball room is very difficult to pick up at first being a woman, because you have to learn not to lead but follow and to have your partner push you backward which is very unnatural. the man your with moves you 2 steps backwards then you take 2 steps forward(good education on dealing with men,he pushes you 2 steps back then you take two steps forward again) well at the end of six weeks i discovered that i eventualy had a right and left foot, not just 2 left feet and it was alot of fun. this all worked out very well because i graduated in 1976 and many a night after work my friends and i hit the disco sciene (look out John Trevolta)
well its been many years since i have truely waltzed and with lack of practice comes lack of skills . several weeks ago while flipping through the tv channels i came across my favorite movie "The King and I" it was at the part were Anna and the king were about to polka. the king puts his arm around Annas' waist draws her to him and they start to dance at this point i'm just swept away(yul brenner what a guy). isn't it funny how we spend money on all kinds of silly things we think will make us happy when all of a sudden we realize its the simple things in life, like dancing, that give us the gradification we are really looking for .

Friday, October 10, 2008

adult education last night

last night my husband and i attended an adult education class at our church,St. Michael in South bridge, Fr. Peter decided it would be good to get together and speak about what our church feels about the issues of the coming elections, how we has
orthodox Christians should view both parties and make an informed decision regarding our belief has Christians. we did not speak about candidates or their views but rather the views of the church fathers.
at this time our orthodox bishops have not come forward to make these views know so Fr. read off of the views of the catholic bishops whom we accept and follow in most points of view. we spoke alot about illegal aliens and how the church views our christian position. many people seemed angry that these aliens are allowed to live in this country and receive the same if not better rights like health care,homes and jobs.
i work with many people who are legal from other countries, i used to become and still do at times,feel this anger but the more i listen to these immigrants stories about how wonderful and how bad it was for them back home the more i realize that these are all people struggling to get by with much less then i have.i have been blessed with a house a good paying job, food and heat.(yes i also worked hard for these things they were not handed to me)their are many people who work multiple jobs for little pay and little respect. i do not beleave we should open this country up to every one nor do i believe that we need any more illegal people living off the system but i do believe that the candidates running for office need to take the time to address these issues even if they only say when i get in office i will address these problems.
both candidates right now are afraid to say anything that will hurt their chances to get in.personally i would like to hear some straight talk if you want to be the leader of this country then act like a leader not like a follower.
the day i vote i will walk in vote and what ever happens the next day happens.It may not be the person i pick who gets in but i hope who ever gets in will be a leader and stand up for something.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Tiger and Milo

we have two cats at our house Tiger and Milo. Tiger is probably about 12 years old, grey in color with black stripes. he showed up on our door step half starved and every morning my husband would feed him then one day he walked into the house like he owned the place we had him fixed and he's been ours ever since.
the first time i brought him to the vets' office the receptionist asked me what his name was. up until this time we just called him kitty or cat so i opened my mouth and out came Tiger and that's been his name ever since.
i do love Tiger he is my favorite he is truly a Garfield kitty his only aim in life is to eat and sleep.he demands that his two small food bowels be kept full at all times or he will sit between the kitchen and parlor look at you and meow if this does not work he will keep taking steps forward and meow until he is in your face,he does not give up easily.the thought of physical activity or catching a mouse is a real turn off for him and he just absolutely refuses to think about such things.
on my days off after my husband gets up Tiger comes and lays with me while i read my bible and pray, all he needs is several pats on the head and he lays near me
until i get up go down stairs and -feed him of course.
Milo was my sons cat,when he decided to join the army, full time he was going to put him in a shelter
i could not let this happen so i told my son to bring him to first i did not like him he was small, scrawny and not very lovable but with time i seem to like him more.Milo is very independent, bossy and scared of most noises. he has what i call cattitude
he walks with his head and tail in the air and thinks he is quite important.he does not get along with any cat in the neighborhood and i guess being so runty he has a Napoleonic complex.
Milo does have one friend who he enjoys spending time with and that is a white resin statue of an angora cat that sits on my bench near the bird feeder and bath. Milo is very smitten with this little blue eyed vixen and they sit together for hours watching the birds fly by.I'm afraid Milo is in for heartache soon because with winter coming it will soon be time to put the bird bath and miss kitty in the cellar. alas amore has Shakespeare so eloquently put it "it is better to haved loved and losted then never to have loved at all."
but don't feel to sad because come spring when the bird bath goes back out I'm sure Milo will be pleasantly surprised by what will be sitting on the bench near the bird feeder waiting for him. isn't love just wonderful


i like to cook and have done so since i begged my mother when i was 10 years old to teach me, at that time i wanted to learn because my mother worked second shift and my fathers' favorite night time recipe was hamburger stew, which was quite good but lost something after the first couple of weeks.i found that i really did like cooking and by the time i was a teenager i would make complicated recipes, home made breads and
pastries. the harder it was the more i enjoyed it. now i do not have the time or patience to do the really complicated things so i have learned short cuts and how to doctor recipes up to make them taste the way we like them. my husband is a good one for going some where eating something and saying "you should make this its good" so i start hunting for recipes on line,in cookbooks and asking friends in hopes to make what he likes. cooking to me is freeing when I'm not bothered and it makes me feel creative,especially when i get it right. this time of year you can not beat the smell of home cooking and comfort foods summer is nice but its way to hot and humid to cook but in the fall the more I use the stove to cook the less we have to have the heat on since the stove helps heat the whole house. I swear we eat our way through the fall and winter I know I can very easily put on a good 10 or 15 pounds by the time spring comes I wonder how I will fit into my spring and summer clothes.every year i say i will watch what i eat but then by Christmas it's all out of control and the party is on.(literally)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

cleaning our spare room

we live in a very small cape cod so clutter takes its toll on this house. i am a minnamlist while every one else who lives here loves their clutter.needless to say its quite the task to keep up with these two i decided it would be a good day to start cleaning our spare room/laundry room. although the room is very small it takes awhile to clean it,with small rooms there is just no where to put things while you clean. i spent about an hour and decided enough was enough and will try to tackle it every day i have off, even if i only spend 15 minutes on it.
funny how things like this get ahead of you then the job begins to seem over whelming and its easier to just close the door and walk away but if your persistant and keep at it sooner or later its amazing what you can do.we can find clutter every where including our hearts and souls it reminds me of when i became orthodox the task of reading the bible daily, praying, going to confession and learning about this faith seemed an up hill task but little by little it came to me, made sense and seemed possible to follow. although i still have an uphill battle every day i know small steps forward are still steps in the right direction.

Monday, October 6, 2008

sinking feeling on monday

last night i awoke with a sinking feeling, its never a good thing when i get that feeling because i know its going to be a heck of a day at work and true to form it never ceases to amaze me how the big problems happen within the first hour i get there. this morning it was a patient who needed to be sent out to the hospital. needless to say this set me back almost an hour so my work day really did not start
until 9am.then the day just continued on this pattern and the worst part of it all the nurses were running like crazy.the phones were ringing one of the doctors came in and spent at least 4 hours on the floor checking on her patents and writing orders ( i like this doctor but she gets diarrhea of the pen)next to her sat her nurse practitioner who was also busy writing orders, we had one admission and one patient was going home later in the day.any minor complaints had to be put to the side and done at the end of my day along with all the notes i have to write. the lab come in to draw blood, the xray company came in to do an xray.
but by 4:20 i was out of there. i decided it was a good night for sloppy Joe's, i haven't made them in over a year and all morning long that's all i could think about,while i was sitting starting to enjoy my sandwich the phone rang, it was work i decided I'd better pick it up in case i forgot to sign something or misposted an order.after saying hello the nurse on the other end said "we have a call out for your floor your shift tomorrow do you want to come in?" i laughed and said no thank you i have plans.some days just never stop.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

good day for a yard sale

well our yard sale is over for another year and all in all it was allot of fun with a steady stream of people, good food and nice company. i really enjoy watching people gather together at the tables and eat and talk, to me this is what fellowship is all about. getting to know different people and listening to their tales. people seemed happy to be out buying, some like the food and deserts and one lady who had cancer came and got to get her mind off her illness, even though she was bald and out of breath. it sure helps you put your life into perspective and count your blessings when you realize how lucky you are.we had a good group of workers today no short tempers every one seemed happy our fr. peter was in and out and enjoyed the good food. sometimes i think it must be very hard to live the life of a priest i could not deal with the being alone i am a people person and need to have people around me but what would we do with out brave souls like reverend peter? God bless him he is one in a million.

Friday, October 3, 2008

st.francis of assisi

October 4Th is St. Francis of Assisi feast day. i have been an admirer of him since i was 14 years old. to me this is a person who got religion right.Francis came from a very wealthy family his father was a cloth merchant. Francis tried several time to become a soldier and fight during the crusades but first he was captured then later became very ill. he was a lover of the earth, animals,nature, music and the day while walking he came across a church that was in ruins while in the church looking at the cross hanging on the wall he heard the voice of God tell him to go rebuild his church.Francis took this literally and sold some of his fathers expense material to by bricks, his father became angry and demanded his material back.Francis stripped and gave his father the clothing on his back. the priest in the near by church brought him a workers' tunic which was to become his habit.Francis was sickened by the sight of lepers and one day God moved him to hug a leper,he said he felt sick but once he kissed the man he knew he had to leave the material world and help others.francis loved all people was patient, kind and always tried to help his fellow men. he believed that all material things are on loan to us and should be passed on to those in need. he loved the holy family so much that he wanted to see
what Christmas evening must have been like by having the villagers do a live nativity.he loved birds and once did a service for them. he could never stand to see a lamb taken to slaughter and would go out of his way to buy and find a good home for lambs that were being brought to market.Francis believed in prayer through out the day, begged for the things he needed and tried to own nothing. its said he was the first saint to be given the stigmata.he started the poor Clair's for women who became cloistered and felt that not every one could be celibate so he started the third order for lay people.St.Francis died when he was about 42 he was very ill from possible diabetes and he asked to be laid naked on the floor to die so he could die has Christ did owning nothing one of his friars loaned him his tunic and ordered Francis to put it on since it was given by loan it was not personal ownership on his part.Francis left the Franciscan order which to this day is still a humanitarian order.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

our dog christi

my husband and i have a lovely Labrador retriever named Christi, she is 9 years old and has high strung now has she was the day we gother.sometimes i feel very sad for her because this is a dog who loves children and we have none for her to play with.once in awhile my neighbors daughter will come over to talk to her and pet her and she just melts from the attention.
we also do not spend has much time with her outside in the woods has she would like. she loves to chase the ducks on the river at the park in our town and is never able to catch one.but you have to give her credit for not giving up I'm sure in
her mind she feels someday she'll catch one,what she'd do with I'm not sure she knows.
several times I've tried to teach her to bring the news paper in to the house which she is not interested in. i bring her out with me try to put the paper in her
mouth, she looks up at me drops it on the ground and runs around the yard( between you and me I'm not all that thrilled about bringing the paper in myself so i don't push the point with her).
she is the mostloving,needy,sweetest tempered dog we have ever owned.she ask nothing
in return except be loved.i can relate to this many is the day when all i want to do is come home and be hugged,i guess in the end she and i are alot alike has the Beatles said in their song " all we need is love".