Thursday, December 30, 2010

A Day Of Beauty

I'm not sure why,maybe it was because a bird was singing in the tree near my bedroom window,or the fact that the sun was shining through the curtains.
But what every it was I just knew today would be a wonderful day.
After lazily getting out of bed and having a cup of coffee it came to my mind that I needed to get my life in some sort of order,starting today.
Could it be the fact that Christmas is now over and a New Year is upon us that has me so ready to make significant changes to my life.
I sat down with pen and paper and began to write all of my thoughts down.
Like a river stopped up by a beaver dam,which has broken its boundaries,the gushing fourth of ideas filled my brain so quickly I could not write it all down.
My heart feeling has light has that tiny bird singing me awake.
Change screamed in my head new job,more savings,more exercise,better diet,less clutter..More Organization!!
This was a day of great things with joy in my heart so bright it almost all seemed possible.
My task interrupted by a phone call from a friend asking me about taking a walk and going out to lunch,How perfect,an idea that fit right into my need for health and peace.
The walk in the sunshine lightened all the heavy,dreary thought that winter had thrust on my spirit.
A Disney kind of day,to say the least
Off to lunch for quite girl talk,then to a going out of business sale.
Home to dishes and supper but happiness still filling my soul.
A day so perfect created by God himself to bring joy to all his creatures of whom I am one.
Praise God for such elation and beauty.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Physical Today

Today was my yearly physical,I really need to schedule these things before the holidays.
Have you exercised,the man in the white coat ask? no,unless you call shopping,wrapping,cooking,cleaning and entertaining exercise..I have not.
Hows you eating habits? pretty bad doctor,unless you consider sugar part of the food pyramid,its pretty bad.
Hows your stress levels been? Your blood pressure is higher then I like.Doctor if you consider I have not stopped thinking about what I need to do next, every minute of everyday since November the 23rd and am running on pure adrenaline,part of mental relaxation,I guess that's not good either.
Well,the man tells me,you should consider walking or how about riding a bike,I love to ride mine.
Doctor unless you plan to put a plow in the front of my bike,I'm thinking that's not happening for me.
You know,he says,they sell these ski like things you can attach to the front of your bike,I'd get some myself if my wife would let me.
Doctor we need to get off the bikes,I see no reason to ride one in the summer so I guess the winter is off limits,in my mind anyways.
Did you have a good Christmas,was Santa good to you this year?
Yes,I tell him he was,but then my birthday is in late November and I sort of get one big gift from my Santa after my Birthday and before Christmas.
Really he says my wife was born in January she has the same issue.
Was your Holidays good? Yes I tell him,considering I worked them.
So anyways he says your blood pressure is higher then I'd like.
Me too.. Doctor... me too...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Two Josephs,One Jesus

Today is December the 26Th the first Sunday after the Nativity and also the day we commemorate Joseph the Betrothed.
Has we come to this Sunday after Christmas day we take the time to celebrate Saint Joseph the man entrusted with the protection and rearing of our Savior.
Not much is known about this man or the great effects he had on this child Jesus.
My mother used to say that a woman goes through the birth of a child and the man is congratulated on its arrival.
But like most fathers and step fathers little credit is given to their hard work and responsibility for the raising of a child.
We seem to forget how influential Joseph was and to say he was not a special man would be an understatement.
Joseph was thrown into a position of not only being engaged to a woman who he was to find out was pregnant,but also to have enough faith to believe that when an angel appeared to him in a dream,he was able to not only understand the importance of his dream but to follow through with what was being asked of him.
If not for St. Joseph this woman,Mary,at worst may have been stoned to death for being pregnant with out being married and at the least she and her child would have been outcast,entitlement to nothing by Jewish law and society.
They would have been the lowest of the low,probably beggar's in the streets.
In order for Jesus to have fulfilled the Jewish Laws he needed to be a Jewish man in good standing,which would not have happened had he been fatherless.
Joseph took on the role of father,husband and care taker to a child who would change the face of religion.
It is said that Joseph lived to be an old man,how old,that's disputable,since most men lived to be about 36 in those days,but no matter how old he was he lived long enough to raise Jesus to manhood before he died.
While at church this morning,the fact struck me that when Jesus was born his father,a man named Joseph,probably assisted with the cleaning and wrapping of this tiny baby's body which he held and laid in a wooden feed box.
After Jesus Crucifixion and death another older man,also named Joseph,went to the Governor Pilot to ask for and recover the body of Jesus.
At our Sunday liturgy,when the entry of the gifts are being brought the priest says:
Joseph an honorable man took your own pure body down from the wood,wrapped it in a clean linen and spices and laid him in a new tomb.
Both Josephs not only knew Jesus but they assisted him in his time of need.
One assisted with bringing him into the world with dignity and the other assisted with bringing him out of the world with the same dignity.
I once read that to wash and wrap the body of a dead person is the greatest act of compassion one person can do for another.
Its considered selfless because what you are giving can not be repaid by the person you are giving this gift to.
It seems both Josephs were compassionate men who understood the importance of living up to what would become their destinies, both gave their love,compassion and protection to Jesus.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Not Standing For The Pledge Of Allegiance

This morning while watching the news,there was an interview with a Massachusetts school official who,after 7 years,has sent letters home with his students for permission from their parents to allow them to say the pledge of allegiance in class.
The official said that he wanted to reinstate the practice of pledging but since he did not want to offend any one he decided to send slips home,for permission first.
He said that at present even some of the teachers do not choose to do this pledge so they also do not stand up.
All right here's the thing in my mind,if you choose not to recite the pledge fine,but a teacher,should at the very least,stand up.
Funny how these same people who do not respect our flag have no problem cashing their pay checks or accepting vacation and holiday paid time off,provided for by both state and Federal funds,whose flag you are being asked to respect.
If you are so disrespectful to the country that employs you and pays your health insurance maybe its time to find a job in the private sector,who by the way,will require a lot more from you then to simply pledge a flag and will have no problem firing you for disrespecting their corporation.
To not respect the flag is to also not respect all those who died in wars so you could have the right to "not stand up" because of your so called freedom.

Christ Birth December The 25Th?

We are all raised to believe that Jesus was born on December the 25Th,but more then likely this was not true.
According to the gospel of Luke 2:8 "There were in the same country Shepard's living out in the fields,keeping watch over their flocks by night".
This in our present day minds does not seem like an issue.
What we do not understand is the reason the Shepard's were watching their sheep was because it was eweing time and they needed to guard the mothers and babies from wolves and predators.
Flocks usually give birth to the lambs in the spring time by December the flock would he housed in an enclosed field and possibly put in stables during the colder months.
Also according to the strict religious rules followed by Mary's Jewish sect,children were usually born in the months of March related to their rules on when possible conceptions could take place.
It is believed by some religious scholars that Jesus was probably born somewhere around March 18Th to March 28Th.
The date of December the 25Th was picked because at the times the pagan world celebrated winter solstice and there was no better way to play down the pagan beliefs at that time,then to play up a Christian aspect of the season.
So by rights we should be celebrating Jesus birth around the time of Lent and Easter,how confusing would that be?
One day you would say Merry Christmas and several days later you would be going through Lent and Easter.
Christ is born,oops sorry, Christ is dead,but wait Christ is risen..
Talk about bipolar.
I guess December the 25Th is pretty good choice after all.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Right Time

Last night I started reading a book,borrowed from a friend,on Mary and Visions of saints.
When John the Baptist came he was considered to be the last Prophet.We Orthodox consider him to be the end of the Old Testament days and Jesus to be the start of our New Testament.
The Jewish people,on the other hand, believe that no more Prophets came once the temple in Jerusalem was destroyed.
So basically we all agree that there are no more Prophets but even with that said we still believe in people who have visions and dreams.
We understand that God still speaks to each of us and maybe some people are just more in tuned with whats being said and can more clearly gain knowledge of what the rest of us have not fully learned to focus in on.
The first chapter in this book speaks of Joachim and Ana,Mary parents.
Seems Ana was a teenager and her new husband was a middle aged person when they met and married.
Many years passed and although they prayed,tithe and did good works,they just could not seem to have a child.
This was very important to them because according Jewish custom children were a blessing and the more you had the more blessed you were.
Being married for so many years with out a child told the community that they were spiritually wrong and God would not favor them with a blessing.
They began to pray more fervently then one day an angel appeared to Ana and told her she was to have a child.
Like most women in her situation she could not understand why God had chosen her,in such a late part of her life to finally have a child.
The angel explained to her that all things that would make up the completed picture were not yet in place.
Funny isn't it how we always want what we want when we want it but do not understand that what we do is not just about our actions but about a bigger picture.
If Ana had Mary 14 years earlier,Joseph,Mary's future husband,may not have been old enough or mature enough to accept Mary has an unwed pregnant person.
Also Jesus was meant to be born at a certain time in history and for his mother to be born to early would mean she would be the wrong age to have had Jesus.
This was not about random chance.
We are not privy to the full picture and we should try not to be to down on ourselves because things do not happen on our schedule.
The Jews have a saying that when you save one person you save an entire population of future people.
God does not work on any fixed time.He sees and understands the entire picture and how all people parts fit into each other.
To Him the picture is large scale and uniform,global planning,so to speak, and that you must admit,is pretty impressive.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Tis The Season To Be ..Stressed...

Today is December the 20Th and as of this day I am done Christmas shopping.
Now comes the hard part sorting,wrapping and giving.
Although December the 25Th always falls on December the 25Th,it just seems like it crept up on me again.
Now how did that happen?
To much stuff to do in one month,I feel as if my holiday running started three days before Thanksgiving and is only now starting to wind down.
Every year I vow I will start my holiday baking and decorating earlier so as not to be over taken by the Holiday Season,but alas no such luck another resolution broken.
This morning was a nice day I got to spend some quality,slow down time just talking with a friend and regaining my proper prospective of the holiday season.
Tomorrow I will be visiting my elderly Aunt and spending some time with her.
This time of year we spend so much time running and doing we forget the real reason for the season is to spend quite,value time with the people we love.Those we do not always get to see through out the year,but miss dearly and are now able to finally reconnect with.
To much stress and running around puts us in the position of being to tired to realize that slowing down is needed.
God sent us his own beloved son to teach us about peace on earth,which starts when there is peace in us.
We all have different Christmas traditions,started in our childhood.
Some of use got many gifts,some few.Some opened our presents orderly while others dug right in and ripped through everything like a pack of wild dogs devouring a dead caucus.
In the end when all the gifts were opened and the thank yous passed around,the most important part of our days were spent just talking,laughing,eating and maybe even playing board or card games with each other.
Whether we are a large or small group on this Holy day of Christmas we are all together so we can celebrate the joy of the baby Jesus,who chose to come into this world and bring us all peace,joy and love.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Oh Christmas Tree,Our Christmas Tree..

My husband and I both like real Christmas Trees.
Coming down the stairs every morning with the smell of pine waffling through the parlor is almost like getting reacquainted with a long lost friend.
The years we have had artificial trees,although beautiful,just never truly feel like Christmas,something just seems missing.
Having a very small parlor does not allow for a very big tree,most real trees are all to wide and the last time we had a full size live tree, I had to literally trim all the branches with a saw,to make it fit in its selected spot.
Last year while looking through a magazine I came across a picture of a Christmas tree,about three feet tall sitting in an ice bucket on a table.
Eureka! our problem was solved and so began my search for an ice bucket.
After several days of looking from upscale stores to antique shops,it became clear to me that ice buckets were no linger in Vogue,Now what?
One day while wondering around T.J.Maxx,I came across a very lovely white ceramic trash can,which to my surprise worked out very nicely.
This year,with great confidence and no container issue,all I needed was to find a suitable tree.
Two days of searching,then stopping at Loews,there sat my perfect tree,a little small but the price range was acceptable and it just seemed "Right".
Best of all it had its own little plastic base,which I though would not only fit nicely into the awaiting ceramic stand,but add to its stability.
When I awoke on Friday morning I asked my husband if he could take a little off the bottom of the tree base,so has to allow the little fellow, to get water through out the holiday season,thus helping to keep it fresh.
With that problem out of my way I took my shower for my upcoming day's events.
Has I was dressing I heard a very odd noise coming from outside,the commotion seemed to get louder as I approached and opened the front door.
At the bottom of our steps stood my husband with a small prey bar in hand beating,the plastic stand into submission,trying to get the nail out of the tree base.
Pieces of red plastic flying in every direction and words unfitting for the Holiday Season coming out of his mouth.
When he regained his composer,he looked up and saw me,steering down at him from the top step,none to happy with his out burst.
He smiled and said,here's your tree,where do you want it?
Ah another year of interesting events with the tree.
Some years the lights don't work,the tree falls over,the most treasured bulbs break,this year a spike refused to relent.
Why do we torture our selves over a tree that sits in our homes for less then six weeks?
How many hours,combined with frustrations,do we spend in the end to achieve the perfect Christmas Tree?
What is it about this piece of nature,that when lite up,brings us such joy?
The happiness we gain by simply sitting near it drinking our hot chocolate,watching the lights twinkle,remembering all our special ornaments,has the quite winter evening envelopes us with peace.
Before we know it,sadness fills us as the Christmas season ends and we dismantle and put it all away.
Like the departure of a comforting friend,whose visit leaves us some what sad and a bit lost.
Another love/hate relationship draws to a close only to reappear again next December.

Invitation To Come In

Every practicing Jew has a small box on the front door frame of his house.In side the box is a parchment will several prescribed prayers written on it.
When entering the house a person is to touch the box to remind themselves that they are now home and when they enter their house they are entering their own private temple,they may now leave the rest of the world at the door step.
When I was growing up we always had a picture of Jesus on our kitchen wall and a crucifix in the parlor,with smaller versions in each bedroom and hall way.
In a sense just like the Jews of old,we were also inviting God to come and reside with us,in a very outward way.
In my own house we have two crosses in our parlor,three icons,one of Jesus,one of Mary and one of St.Victor and several christian type pictures of Jesus with a lamb.
In our bedroom we have about 5 pictures of Jesus that for what ever reason,just seemed to catch my eye and I find them very spiritual when I stop and look at them.
This may seem very overwhelming to most people,but the size of each picture varies so has not to seem over done.
In a sense we have also invited God into our home,even if we didn't realize it when we put these pictures up.
People who our not Catholic or Orthodox would probably consider such things to be idolatry,but they are not.
They are reminders to me that in order to have God centered in our everyday lives we need to have him around us in our every day temple,called home.
If we are not allowed the freedom we need to be able to see such things then how will we be reminded who to give thanks to for all we have around us in our homes and lives.
Families are the most important part of our lives.
We create our families because God created us and he knows we are not solitary beings.We are strengthened by the love we are given and give to each family member.
When I was young my mother had a picture of Jesus knocking at the door.He is not an intrusive God and we need to be polite enough to make it clear to him our home is truly his home,no knocking necessary.
An invitation to God to enter our homes shows him that we understand our most important place in this world and God is the real head of our families just has he is the real head of our churches.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Jim Morrison: Maybe A Pardon

Let me start by saying happy belated birthday to the late Jim Morrison of the doors born December 8,1943.
Today in the news paper was a story of how the Governor of Florida is trying to get the votes needed form the Executive Clemency Board to pardon Jim for a 1969 indecent exposure conviction.
The Governor claims he doubts that Morrison exposed himself during a rowdy Miami concert on March first 1969.(the Govenor has more faith in Jim then I
Morrison left the United States to go to France,several years later,he overdosed and was found dead in a bath tub.
I must admit I do like most of Jim and the Doors music,yes he was a talented bad boy but so are many rock musicians once they hit their peak.
To much booze,to much drugs and no self control.
Morrison was a troubled rebel who had an obsession with death and the after life.
Once when he was a child he drove by an accident with his family and saw the bodies of some dead Indians,this stuck with him and it played in the back of his mind for the rest of his life.
Its hard to defend someone bent on killing them selves but I just happen to like the man and maybe his morbid curiosity of death is something that touches each and everyone of us in some secret way,like an Edgar Allen Poe story of the Makab.
We all wonder what it would be like to "break on through to the other side"not just emotionally or mentally but physically.
So with the vote hanging in the air I think "Jimbo",has my husband calls him,will get his pardon,but even so he will always be that bad wild man of music who left us some pretty great songs and some pretty bad ones as well.
Here's to you Jim,happy belated Birthday big guy,from one fire sign to another.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A Nation Of Schizophrenics

We are a nation of schizophrenics.
On the one hand we all want to be rich and live the good life and on the other hand we profess to hate the wealthy because they are to rich,to powerful and to greedy.
I can tell you for a fact that I don't know anyone,who if you offered them ten million dollars,at this moment, would not take the money and run.
Not to mention buy every greedy piece of merchandise they could put their hands on.
A big house,new vehicles maybe a boat and all kinds of electrical gadgets.
Today the news was covered with all the reasons why the president should not have caved into the demands that the tax cut on all Americans,including the wealthy,should have stayed in place.
We are in a bad state of affairs right now and if keeping the tax credits the way they are helps rich people decide to hire poor people,then I say go for it.
Although I have to say that I,in some small respect, feel sorry for the president's need to agree and go along,I do not like him calling fellow Americans terrorist,especially when he wont even use that term on the real terrorist.
The one thing I have learned has I've gotten older is all things do not sit in my hands and all decisions about how this country is run are also not up to me.
We can only help those with whom we come in contact,in our small part of the world were we live our lives on a day to day basis.
Much as I would love to solve all of Americas problems,it is not in my ability to do so and getting upset about it changes nothing.
What can I do in this small corner of Connecticut?
Feed the poor through my church's community meal,cloth the naked by donating jackets,mittens and hats to local charities,up lift those who are falling down in despair by listening and caring,buy and give toys to seasonal drives for those children who may not receive any gifts on Christmas morning and donate money to charities whom I feel are doing good work.
Has a Christian that is what I'm called to do and any dent I make in any part of the society that revolves in my direction is a job well done,something congress,the senate and the President don't really seem to be making many cross roads into.
I can not save the world but I can save the parts closest to me and in that way cause a wave through out the lives of those placed in my path.
Helping one person allows you to help an entire community,because when you do one good thing for one person it enables that person to help someone else and so it goes a ripple in a pond of stillness carried through an entire body of water.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Christmas Anxiety Begins

Another great day to be alive.
After working the week end,today I have an entire day of things to do,not to mention meeting a nurse Friend of mine for our once a year lunch.
Yesterday while at work I realized it was December the 5Th and only 19 more shopping days til Christmas,not to mention all the other things crammed into my schedule,like figuring out when we will be celebrating Christmas with my family,since I'm working both Christmas and New Years.
Also lets not forget numerous parties to attend,a play,community meal and when oh when do I decorate,wrap,entertain..its a night mare.
But you know what a bigger night mare is when do I stop and just celebrate the birth of Christ.
It has come to my attention that spending so much time worrying about the world around me and all my plans that I forget to put God first and the rest second.
That all sounds very good in theory but this time of year becomes a challenge because to live in God means to put all the rush and worry in my life second.
This is not natural to our nature,we tend to see our lives through what we think are our personal but not spiritual needs.
I'm not sure how I will overcome my ever increasing anxiety and worries of how everything will get done around me but maybe its time to make a list and attempt one thing at a time so has not to overwhelm my mind and bring me more peace for the truly important things like prayer,scripture and just plain contemplation.
The world turns ever faster and we are here for so short a period of time let us try to keep our priorities in line with the real meaning of Christmas and a chance for true peace on earth,like peace within our minds and spirits.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Say Merry Christmas

I't must be the holiday season for I recently heard people complain that stores and shops do not say Merry Christmas any more,for fear of insulting a minority of people who are not Christians or do not believe in religion.
Recently I came across a video done in a mall in Canada where a group got together and planned and sang "hallelujah" to unsuspecting people in the food court.
Once everyone figured out what was going on around them the now knowing became very happy to hear this beautiful song from Handles Messiah.
The point being here,at least in my mind,is don't be afraid to step forward and say Merry Christmas to the cashiers and restaurant wait staff.
Most of them have been told by their companies they are not allowed to say anything but happy holidays.
Be the christian this year and speak the words "Merry Christmas".
Last year when I wished a very tired sales woman these words she smiled at me and said ,"thank you I'm not allowed to say it first and I don't want to lose my job."
We has Christians are to be the light of the world.
Has was said by the Angles to the Shepard's in the field,thousands of years ago "fear not for I bring you tidings of great news!"
I'm not sure why we,has Christians,or professors of God,fear saying Merry Christmas.
Instead of complaining that no one says the words to us,we should be saying the words to others,its part of passing our belief on,or is our fear greater then our belief?
Say what you openly believe in,If someone gets upset with you for saying Merry Christmas then be polite and wish them a good day.
Be the change you want to see in the world and say the words Merry Christmas.
Don't be upset with a bad reaction one person may give you,the devil doesn't like it when we profess our beliefs,especially openly.
Jesus said "you are the light of the world".
Being one of the faithful requires you to love your neighbor and be respectful but also spread your beliefs because you are in the world not of the world.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Bricks or Stones

And God said let us make man in our image and likeness....
If you are married,do you remember on your wedding day looking lovingly at your soon to be spouse and thinking,man could he/she use some plastic surgery?
This persons lips aren't right,breast are to small,nose isn't perfect and so on.
Seems they are coming out with a new TV reality show,where women,who are about to be married,go under the knife so they can be enhanced and made better,all over their bodies.
The future spouse gets to see all there make over on the day they get married.
I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl but what happened to the days when the most perfect person in your eyes was the one you loved.
Those things that were odd and different about your future spouses' looks,where what you thought was just the best part about them.
Are we now suppose to think our best qualities are those that come from a plastic surgeon.
Why do women feel that if they are not perfect in form they are not good enough.
Supposedly we are all individual and created special and that is what draws us to each other.
Should we be selling our selves in front of the world and augmenting our bodies so on that special day in our lives we can enhance our possibilities of winning a cash prize.
People today think that plastic surgery is nothing,but being cut opened and stitched up can have complications,even when done by the best surgeon.
Why do we insist that who we are is not good enough,especially for the ones we love?
If we can not be our real selves why bother being married?
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having augmentations done when it is a very personal issue to you,but should TV be putting women into positions of having multiple surgeries,just so they can be perfect on their wedding day.
Tell me what happens when all this enhancement is done and suddenly you get attention from multiple other people in the world?How will your new spouse feel about the competition of others looking at you?
And what if you decided who you married now does not fit with your new image,what then?Do you look for someone more perfect ?
God made us who we are for a reason and if we all start to look alike then how are we now individuals?
Some one once told me the story of the tower of Babel isn't just about defying God its about making everyone into look alike,act alike bricks.
God smashed the tower because he likes us to be different,He likes people to be more like stones and less like bricks.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Ten Commandments Mean More

I have been reading a book on basic Judaism.
For several years now I have had this need to understand,if I can,some of what Jesus was taught and understood.
It's very odd the things that drive us,and I'm not sure why I need to know these things,but for whatever reason,ever since I saw and touched a Jewish shawl,I have had this desire to more fully understand what Jesus knew.
If that's at all possible.
Last night I was reading about the Ten Commandments.
When God sent Moses down from the Mountain he gave him two tablets with 5 commandments printed on each.
The first tablet dealt with how we should treat God and our creator:Only one God,no false idols,remember the Sabbath,don't take God name in vane and honor your father and mother.
Why are our parents included in these top 5? Because they are our bodily creator and are due respect.
The second tablet contained how we should righteously treat each other.
No murdering,no adultery,no stealing,no bearing false witness and no coveting (not necessarily in that order,but you get the idea).
In this book the Rabbi says that the Ten Commandments are like the Temple in Jerusalem.
When the first Temple was destroyed it was because man felt he no longer needed the one true God and the people spiritually broke the first tablet along with the first temple,which was destroyed by the Babylonians.
It took seventy years to rebuild this Temple,showing God's forgiveness to his people for their insults.
The second Temple represented the second tablet.
People at that time became very pious but treated their fellow Jews terribly so when the second temple was destroyed it signified the destruction of mans careing for each other,which God considered very grievous because to this day he has not allowed the Temple to be rebuild.
According to the author,although God wants our worship and love he is a big God and can live with out it if he has to.
But God can not tolerate our not loving and helping each other and that he will not allow,because we are all his children and when one child is hurt,he is hurt.
Who knew all that came out of ten little laws.
So charity to each other is more important then we know in the eyes of God.
Like a true father it always hurts more when his children are attacked then when he is under attack.

Friday, November 26, 2010

A Jump In The Lake

Every year on Thanksgiving morning many brave people in our town gather together to literally jump in the lake.
Now were not just plain crazy in this town we are somewhat charitable.
Many years ago,on Thanksgiving morning, a bunch of guys sitting around the local Knight of Columbus hall,staying out of their wives way at home,tried to think of something they could do that would be different and some one suggested they go down to the local lake and jump in.
Well with enough drinks in you most people will try anything at least once.
It has now been multiple years since the first men jumped into the icy water and is has become not only a yearly tradition but a fund raiser for the m.s. society.
Every Thanksgiving morning the brave,or crazy,people of our town join together at Quaduc lake and literally jump in.
I have never been to this event but I can tell you there are some Thanksgiving years where snow and ice are on the beach,but these hardy, brave/crazy people do it anyways.
The few the proud and the crazy.Our Thompson residents.

The Day After

Today is the day after Thanksgiving and although my husband and I went out at 10am this morning it was not for Christmas shopping,it was a need for an overcoat and a sale at Joseph A. Banks that brought us to a store.
No Christmas presents yet,its to early for me to think about such things as who wants what.
We had a wonderful day yesterday.A family get together and feast for the six of us. Afterwards we semi watched the football game and talked mostly about family members and holidays gone by,with loved ones no longer present,in body anyways.
After our family left it took me no time at all to get the house back in order and this morning I awoke with nothing to do but drink coffee,read the paper and watch pawn stars.
When my husband got up he decided to brave the traffic and buy a new overcoat,grey in color,at a very good price.
Watching him trying on all those different colored overcoats reminded me that sometimes I just think he's so cute and I'm very proud of him,love is strange.
When we were finished Vic asked me if there was any place special I wanted to go,to which I answered,yes home.
Seems he was interested in buying me an early birthday present,but all I could think of was who needs all these people in my face,its not worth it,we can wait.
I have been trying to figure out what to get people this year and have decided to try and buy has many things from charities and organizations,that I know will benefit from my purchases.
Has a matter of fact soap will be on my list and I know a certain priest who makes some great scented goat milk soap,who just happens to also be my priest,so first to be helped will be our new monastery.
I think it will be more fun this year to try and follow this credo,give to those I love with things that will benefit those in need.
I know this will take some though and I also know that not all of my gifts will follow this suit,but what ever works out will benefit both my friends,family and charities.
So let December come,because I have a plan and this will be a fun challenge.
Let the shopping begin,but not today.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Prince Valiant

When I was a little girl,I,like most 6 and 7 year olds,at that time,dreamed of a fairy tale prince who would ride on his great white horse and whisk me away.
Perched atop this great steed he would wrap his arms around me and protect me as we rode off to his castle.
Yesterday while driving to do some errands,in a futile attempt to avoid Christmas music,I decided to listen to am talk radio.
And who should I stumble upon but Rush.
Seems the topic that day guessed it..airport security.
A gentleman called in to discuss how we has a nation have gotten to the point where we would allow such intrusion on our rights.
They discussed the fact that we have become complacent and have allowed the government to become intrusive,with us harboring complaints but not acting upon them.
The caller asked how any man could subject his wife and family to such an embarrassment and not stand up and object to it.
He asked "where have all the real men gone,the kind who would defend and protect their families on the mere principle that no one should be touching some one you care about in places where only a spouse should be touching them?"
Funny how we have become so weak in this country and so sheep like.
At the end of world war II people asked how an entire religion of people like the Jews,could be so easily manipulated and led to concentration camps.
This is the answer fear and complacency.
Thinking the government knows more then you and allowing ones right to be first violated then taken away and disposed of,just has these victims bodies were eventually disposed of.
It frightens me that we live in a country where no one seems willing to stand up and say no.
Last night a clip was shown from an airport where a 6 year old child had set off a metal detector and was just about stripped searched in front of everyone,the father cursing under his breath about how insane this all was.
No security is worth selling your fundamental rights off and no 6 year old should be shamefully stripped and checked,like a terrorist with a bomb.because he set a metal detector off.
That father who allowed his 6 year old child to be treated like a criminal should have been more concerned about his child's welfare and embarrassment and less concerned about a flight.
Maybe it was time for this man to pull this child out of line,out of the airport and catch a bus or train.
Its time to take the step has a parent and a man,to protect your loved ones and prove a point to your little boy,that a mother or father is a protector and you,as my child, are important enough that we will do things the hard way for your rights and dignities.
Some day when this child grows into a man, he will understand that he,like prince valiant is the protector of those in his care.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Handlers and Trainers

Saturday night my husband and I went to see the movie Secretariat.
I have been waiting to see this movie for sometime now, because I remember watching all three of the triple crown races and cheering that horse on.
You just knew watching him run,that history was being made.
This horse finished the last leg of the triple crown by pulling ahead and winning 36 furlongs,or 1/8 of a mile ahead of the pack.
His record and speed at Bellmont,to this day,has never been matched.
On the drive back home I got to thinking about what made this horse so great,yes his need to run was a part and his lineage of a great race sire with fine blood lines also made him who he was.
But what really helped him win was having a handler,trainer and jockey who understood and knew how to work with his temperament and personality.
They helped him refine and bring forth his best by teaching him direction and control of his talents.
Secretariat was a heavy horse who like to eat,sleep and be lazy,but he was an edgy stallion who loved to run.
Those who worked with him taught him how to take his excess energy and use it,with his need to run,to become the best he could be.
You know I think were all like that.
We see our faults has negative and push them aside or feel bad about them but what we don't understand is those same negative traits can be harnessed,redirected and used toward positive actions.
We are all given gifts but we tend to take those same unrefined traits and urges and lean toward the negative instead of the positive,lets face it its much easier to be sloppy and out of control.
Jesus understood that Peter was hotheaded,impulsive and negative but once He taught him how to restrain,control and redirect his passions,he was able to take all the negative influences in his personality and make them positive,leading him to heights he could never imagine he would reach.
He became the rock Jesus knew he could be,the solid foundation of a great movement and belief.
That's what a good clergy person and church is suppose to help us do,make us realize that all that negative energy we've been expending on all our misdeeds can be placed into positive action.
If you belong to a good church with a good priest or leader they will help you train the excess negatives of your personality then channel them toward the positive for what God is expecting of you.
How,you may ask,do they do this?
By teaching us prayer,religious directions,bible studies and most of all dialogue,of not only our tailored need for correction but also our deserving praise.
No one can be good at what they do if they feel no reward,we tend to be learned creatures and if doing bad feels better then doing good,then why bother doing good.
We will never change our basic make up but we can achieve greater height's of our being by understanding that being stubborn or aggressive are not really bad when properly directed and channeled.
The same person who is considered thick headed or unmovable may have what it takes to be the next martyr or saint for the faith.
Lets face it,it takes allot of stubborn determination to die for a cause.
Our basic personalities are a good thing but how we and those around us,choose to harness,train and control these traits will determine the success and fullness we have in our walk with God and each other.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Community Meal

I tend to be a simple person.
I don't own expensive cars,big TVs or large amounts of money,but what I do know is wealth is in the eye of the beholder.
Tonight is our community meal at St. Micheal Church.
On the menu will be Turkey with all the fixings and many hands contributing in the preparation,presentation and serving.
This is one of our truly big meals,with not only many of our church members in attendance,but also friends from the community,both those we know and those we will meet.
All here to partake of this banquet of bounty.
My job is to make some of the pumpkin pies and I can tell you the smell of Autumn spices are just filling my kitchen with their sweetness.
While baking this morning,it came to my mind,something that occurred at last Saturday Evening Coffee House,at our church.
During the intermission I had a chance to speak with the lead singer,preforming that night, and told her how much I enjoyed when these visiting musicians testify to how they were lead to Christ.
Some have spoken of being addicted to drugs or alcohol,some molested by so called "loved ones" and some just knew they were on the wrong path and not sure which step to take next.
She and I spoke about how we both miss judge people on the merits of how they look or act and how Jesus had spoken to both our hearts on the need to see people spiritually and not physically.
Now days the words " don't judge " jumps into my mind.Many is the time when I am thinking negatively about another person and I can hear those words resonate through my brain.
Our community meal has taught me that to reach out and not judge others,is why we're here on earth.
It is easy to be a person of words but it is allot harder to make the physical effort to bake the pies or serve the meals.
It can be difficult to walk out of 8 or more hours of work,drive to the church hall,only to spend 4 more hours standing and serving food.
It would be easier for me to send some money to my local food bank,then to make the physical effort to feed others and listen to their complaints or demands.
But God is funny like that,he doesn't ask for the simple,he expects more from us and in return we find the job to be exhilarating,rewarding and the people wonderful.
Here is a joy you don't feel when you throw money in an envelope.
Jesus didn't say feed the hungry when your not tired,listen to those in need of talking when your in the mood.
I have learned that every person has a story and once you hear them you can understand why it is so important to listen with your heart,to each.
We as church are not suppose to be some vestige of just worship and prayer,we are to get our hands dirty and be the servant.
Anyone can be a leader but not every one can be a servant,that takes the grace of God with in us.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Memory Eternal

In the time of Ancient Egypt it was said that to speak the name of a deceased person was to allow them to live again.when a name was spoken it required a person to breathe and that breath allowed that name,at that moment,to be alive.
Our Sunday Service contained not just a reminder of the starting of Advent but also an anniversary memorial for a deceased family member.
During multiple prayers and the departed name being mentioned several times,we also sang the song memory eternal.
We believe that just because your physical being is gone,your spirit is not.
To celebrate the death of some one is to celebrate the joy of them now being with God,which hopefully we are all trying to achieve.
It is believed that we are put on this earth to bring glory to God and praise him.
Once we cross over it now becomes our full time job to praise God for all eternity.
We are only divided from our deceased loved ones by a simple breath,once we too cease to breathe then we will join them.
We as Christians believe that to leave this planet and be with God is the most wonderful thing we can do,but unfortunately we fear the process and the unknown.
God is with us all the time,we are never not in his presence.Yet we fear he will not be with us when the time comes.
Faith takes belief and belief can not be proven only experienced.
To breath is to be alive but to speak the name of the dead allows their name to be alive too,that's kind of a nice reminder.

Security vs. Privacy

How far are you willing to go for security?
Would you sell everything,allow all personal data that you own to be viewed?
How about your body? Are you willing to let anybody view it?
pat it down? How about Cavity search it? Is freedom from harm worth even that?
Back in the late 70's I used to enjoy flying,it was the best way I could think of to go any long distance.
Today I would not fly even if you gave me a free ticket,expenses paid,because flying is no longer fun its down right unfriendly.
No longer is there convenience,comfort and customer satisfaction with friendliness.
No longer are you treated like someone special,deserving to be a paid customer on an airline.
Long lines,no freebies nothing that says "we care and you are important to us".
True security is important but in my mind life is a gamble and when you take away the rights of the innocent of freedom and enjoyment,then you know what the terrorist have won.
Most people I have seen interviewed say they don't mind the inconvenience of traveling safely.
The two hour early arrival time,having bags checked through scanners then hand searched,the removing of their shoes and now the indignity of a full x ray search or inappropriate body pat down,including private parts,just for some guarantees of safety.
I,on the other hand,have resolved that at no time in the near future will I be flying,unless absolutely necessary,because to tolerate such indignity is to tell the terrorist they won,now we live in fear.
These haters who have forced us into such a way of travel,have for the most part,gone over to cargo travel,which by the way is not even screened,let alone patted down or unwrapped.
So here we are less dignity is paid to us then cargo packages.
Although my body is nothing to write home about,as far as beauty goes,it is still my body and deserves what I consider some dignity.
Not many professional people view my entirety unless they have MD or NP stamped somewhere on their white lab coat after their name.
Who I allow to touch or view my body is my choice and who I do not is also my choice.
No person wanting to cause me harm has the right to take my rights and freedoms away while they plan their next attack.
What should we do about said indignities?
How about stand up and say no especially to children and little old ladies.
Do you know that Muslims groups in this country are trying to say "if our woman wear veils you will not touch their bodies or view them."
Normally I don't side with groups who diminish women's rights,but today I am because I don't see any men from this country standing up to say "No you may not view or touch my female loved ones in these disgraceful manners."
Freedom for me means to live with out fear and that includes fear from being frisked by strange people telling me their just doing their job.
Now I know lots of people consider paying good money and being treated worse then cattle is all right by them.
Benjamin Franklin felt that to give up some of ones freedoms for security put you in the positions of having neither,nor expecting either.
I tend to agree with him and am very glad to never fly again,if need be.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Carols Everywhere

Christmas time is here carols every where...
Wait a minute isn't it November 15Th?
I guess I got confused.
Could it be the fact that when I walked into work this morning one of my patients put on his favorite easy rock station,only to be bombard by Christmas Carols 24/7,from now til December the 25Th.
I don't know about you but,as far as I'm concerned,I wouldn't mind getting through at least Thanksgiving Day before I have to start thinking about the holidays.
Sunday when I went to church,Fr. Peter talked about our entering the Advent season.
A time to enjoy the pregnancy before the birth.
Not singing Happy Birthday a month or more before the blessed event.
Fr.told us that we in the Orthodox faith are not even to start decorating our homes until several days before Christmas.
Well that is cutting it a little to close for me,but let me tell you many are the years my own Christmas tree did not make it up until less then one week before December the 25Th.
The difference back then was I didn't know I was being Orthodox I just though I was being lazy.
We are always trying to rush through everything and by doing so we miss so much of what we should be spending the time cherishing,like our family and friends.
I know people who are more concerned about having Black Friday off from work,then worry about Thanksgiving day.
Can't miss out on those good shopping deals you know,even if you have to hurt or kill someone to do it.
When we were children and in a hurry for special days to hurry and come,my mother would tell us to "Stop wishing our lives away."
Seems in this country we are always wishing our lives away,always in a hurry never able to wait for anything.
We are an instant society and we want everything now.
Instant joy and satisfaction.
I know one thing in my car and home there will be no Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving,which by the way is a very beautiful holiday.
A time for thanks,which we do not spend enough time doing with those we hold dear.
Advent is also a time to remember.The birth of our Savior,who,by the way,chose to come to this planet the same way everyone else did.
First a pregnancy then a delivery.
To omit the wonder of the pregnancy is to diminish the beauty of the delivery.
So as we continue through November let us remember the Holly and the Ivy can wait,lets start first with the turkey and the gravy and be thankful for everyone and everything we have been given by a benevolent God,who sent us his only son the old fashioned,not the instant way.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Illogical Feelings?

Recently while at our church reading group,we discussed the subject of emotions.
Fr.Peter said that from a psychological standpoint emotions are illogical.
Well this would be true since neither happy nor sad is anything but pure feelings.
Now don't get me wrong we has human beings are made to be emotional,if we were not we would not have all the physical attributes needed to not only emotionally and mentally feel such feelings,but also biologically exhibit chemical releases to such emotions.
According to some we are fallen from grace.When humanity was ordered out of the garden of Eden,we became the emotional beings we are today.
Is God emotional?
We'll I'm sure in some ways he is.
When he sent his son,Jesus,to earth to live the life of a human being,he was able to feel what his creations feel,his trinity,was exposed to our human emotions.
With that said to assign God feelings is to limit him and he is limitless.
When we were still in the womb,we were given from God his spark of life and love.We are finite but God is infinite,so how great must his love be can not be comprehended by our simple humanness.
One thing I do know is if I have feeling it is because God made me this way and for whatever reason he felt it to be very important in my being.
Are feelings logical? No they are not,but in order for us to love one another,as we are told by God to do,we must be able to feel emotions both good and bad.
We are made to group up with others,not to be alone.
In order to become a united part of others we must be able to empathise and forgive.
Feeling great heights of sadness allows us to feel great heights of joy.In order to be a full and real person we must be willing to wade in the waters of our emotions.
One of the shortest sentences in the bible is "Jesus wept" why did he weep? because it was a human thing to do,it gave him a deep impression of what we as humans bear in our hours of grief.
God knows we are illogical and emotional people or he would not have made us this way.
Many times we spend a great deal of our day in constant battle between our emotions and self control.
The one thing I know about emotions is they are forever with us and we spend a life time in a balancing act,trying to figure out were we fit in and keeping our free will in check.
In order to be a follower of Christ we must learn to deny our selves both emotionally and physically.
Now with that said no where in the Bible does God say we are not to feel our emotions,he just wants us to feel less about us and more about others.
To the extent we have emotions about us we need to take those feelings and empathize and help those around us.
Jesus felt passions like fear,love,anger and even desperation when his human life was threatened,but he also understood how to over come and move forward,to do what he was being asked to do for the greater good of others.
How you may ask did he do this? Through prayer,even in the garden during his darkest moment,Jesus knelt down.He prayed,he wept and he even tried to bargain,but in the end God understood and gave his son the strength he needed to finish the story.
And that is how we are also able to gain control of our irrational feelings and fears.
Jesus was sent to us not just to save us,but to be an example of how we illogical, irrational,feeling filled people are to live a correct lifestyle in unison with not only God but those around us.

Friday, November 12, 2010

My Gift To Me

Every year in November and December I go out and buy myself one birthday present and one Christmas present.
Most of the things I buy are simple but pleasurable,things like nice smelling soap,a candle or a touching book,something that hits my fancy as special or significant in some simple way.
This year is no exception.
Last week while looking through my EWTN catalogue I came across a plaque with a saying on it from Mother Teresa.
Now this saying is not something she made up,but something she thought was so special that she had it posted on a wall,in her childrens home in India.For all to see.
Basically it is called The Paradoxical Commandments for Christians.
Written in 1968 by a 19 year old Harvard sophomore,named Kent M. Keith,who wrote it for high school student leaders.These commandments were part of a booklet,titled "The Silent Revolution:Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council."
Because of Mr. Keiths' learning of Mother Teresa high opinion of these Commandments,it became a turning point in his life and lay ministry and now he accepts invitations to make presentations and give seminars on these commandments,all over the country.

Here are The Paradoxical Commandments, I hope you find then as beautiful as I do.


People are often unreasonable,illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,people will accuse you of selfish,ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see,in the final analysis,it is between you and God,
It was never between you and them anyway.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Death Penalty

As I have gotten older,I tend to lean less and less on the side of the death penalty.In this day and age most people who are in jail for life,usually spend their life just there in jail.
Today the verdict came down for the man who killed a doctor wife and his two daughters in Connecticut and it was the death penalty.
I find it rather ironic that a state so opposed to the death penalty even bothers to offer it,since this man will probably spend thousands and thousand of taxpayers dollar and 10 or more years appealing it,why even bother giving him this sentence to begin with?
Its not that this murderer does not deserve this sentence,its just is it really even worth the time,effort and money to continually fight this sentence not to mention the grief it puts the husband through each time this man comes up for appeal.
How much justice is it for the family of the victim,when they can't go on with their lives?
I once had a friend of mine tell me cruel and unusual punishment is constantly making a person stay on death row and never knowing if they will die or not.
I'm not sure if I agree with this but I do understand what she was saying.
As a Christian I'm not suppose to believe in an eye for an eye.
Also vengeance is suppose to be up to God not us.
We are to believe that every one has a right to change himself,no matter how bad because we all have that spark of God goodness in us no matter how awful we may be.
Fr. Peter says no one is born evil were made that way.I'm not so sure about that either.
All I can say is I'm glad I was not serving on that jury because I would not have wanted to make that decision,especially with the victims husband and father looking on.
How tough it must have been for that jury today.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


It always amazes me that when ever things like unmarried parents are studied it's about the mothers not the fathers.
Seems we still live in a world where it is always easier to place the responsibility on women,not the men.
Women who choose to give birth to their babies are still deemed by many to be some how loose,while men,who helped father these children,are not studied on their responsibility to nurture and provide.
If a women gets pregnant by a man and he chooses to walk away it is considered bad choice on her part,like she's to blame because this man chooses to not be a real man.
Through out history women have always been to blame for the equally bad choices men assist in making.
Even in the bible when a prostitute was brought before Jesus for lying with a man,no mention is made of the man she slept with. Was he also not guilty of lying with her? Where was he when it was time to get stoned to death?
We hold many double standards in this country and when it comes to statistics and studies why do we also not do equal studies on men and how their presence of not being in a home with their children also effects these children's lives.
How about studies on the amount of money that is lost by the state and federal government because irresponsible men do not pay for their children's up bringing?
Why is it that we know the basic statistics of unmarried women with children living with unmarried partners but have no clue what the statistics of unmarried men who father multiple children with numerous women and do not pay child support?
Could this be because we live in a male dominated world and its easier to talk about women than it is to talk about men?
Funny how its a stigma for women who choose to give birth and be responsible,yet men who walk away do not have the same sigma placed on them?
It takes two people to make a child and it should take two people to support and raise said child.
Why do we not place has much pressure on a man to not have unprotected sex and produce children they do not want?
I have always felt that if a woman has a child and wants state or federal assistance she should have to name the man who helped produce this child and before any aid is given,he should be tagged by the state to help assist in payments.
Lets face it fair is fair and if the tax payers are helping to pay for these innocent children, why aren't their fathers?

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Tonight we had vespers with our bishop who recently returned from Romania.
He talked about 100,000 people who came for three days to review some of the pieces of the cross and bits of Constantine and Helena remains.
He spoke of how people venerate these things to make them feel closer to God by being near such holy relics,Saints who are filled with such goodness people just need to see and touch even just a piece of them.
I though has he spoke that we all have the opportunity to touch God by simply touching the person next to us.
We,as people, need to be close to those we consider special,famous or holy but in God mind we are all special and holy because we all have that Divine spark or breath from God within each one of us.
To be near another human being,no matter how meek or lowly,great or exalted is too be near God.
The wood of the cross does not make the resurrection,the embodiment of Jesus does.
And we carry that in our own spirit and life force every day if we choose to accept it through our free will.
Many people feel relics are very important because they help heighten their faith and give them something solid and tangible,like meeting a very important person face to face helps them to understand that these stars are really flesh and blood.
I have never really understood this need to show belief by relics,it kind of reminds me of St.Thomas who could not believe unless he touched Jesus wounds.
True its a wonderful thing to have in your presence a real part of Jesus cross or a saints bone,but for me its not necessary.
I do not believe by physical proof,I believe by spiritual proof.
To touch something that belonged to some one great or holy does not make my belief any more solid.
Jesus said,Blessed are they who have not seen yet believe.
I tend to believe that God is every where all around me and my faith should be strong enough that no relic should impact my belief system,one way or the other.
He is,in my mind,always tangible and ever present.
I don't need to touch something physical to draw me closer to God,I just need faith.

Friday, November 5, 2010


Tonight my friend and I went to see the movie "Hereafter",with Mat Damon,who is really getting to be a very good actor and pretty easy on the eyes too...only kidding.
The premise of this movie is about three people,from different parts of the world,and how death has effected each one in its own way.
Mat Damon is a person with true psychic abilities who turns away from his talent of communicating with the dead because it has become to hard to work with people who are alive and desperate to talk to those who have gone on.He says "its hard to enjoy life when your surrounded by death all the time" true.
The second is a 13 year old boy from England,a twin,from a broken home, whose older brother is killed suddenly and now his whole life is gone and he is unable to go on with out the guidance of his beloved twin.
The last is a French news anchor and writer,who during a tsunami is dragged under water and dies,then returns back to life but feels she has unclear flash backs of the after life,which haunt her.She finds that the people around her, who are unbelievers of a God,slowly push her out of not only their lives but also her job.
This movie gives insight into how people treat death, dying and physic abilities,both real and faked.
It gives us a glimpse of how we as a world are moving away from a God based belief of death and into a jiffy lube,done in a few minutes,style of death.
Through the front door of a church in a coffin then out the back door in an urn,just a pile of ashes.
Move along everyone,Nice,clean and efficent, with no regard for the living grieving family and definitely no respect for the dead.
With no way to express feelings those who are still here,and need answers,unkowingly,turn to cons who make money off their grief.
While others who have a real gift to contact the dead,feel the burden so enormous they can not continue,because has Mat Damon says in the movie "sometimes its best not to know everything,some secrets are better left unsaid."
We see that having a real gift or talent from God means that you don't get to pick what you want and sometimes it takes everything you have in your mind,body and soul to fulfill your gift.
Many times a tallent can seem more like a burden,especially when its viewed by others has unwelcoming or odd.
Next is the very act of dying and coming back,getting a glimpse of the other side and trying to figure out why you were allowed this glimpse into a dimension you are not allowed to be in at this present time.
Why this look beyond the curtain and what does it all mean? Is there an after life or is it the brain waves dying and we seeing what is left from some electrical charges,has we slowly slip into what some people view has nothingness.
How do you deal with the death of someone close to you? Someone so close that you feel you can not go on?
How do you face a grief so bad that you have to keep chasing after the dead in order to try to be somewhat alive? What do you do when this person is your whole structure in life,the only stable thing you have known and now their gone?
This,movie although long and not terribly exciting leaves you with a sense of how do we all view death,dying and surviving.
It helps us see that in the end we are all connected and must find others who can help us answer the questions of our loses then move on with our future both here on earth and into the next dimension.
I for one am glad I have a belief in a here after because how cold and shallow would this world be if all that was left to us was a hole in the ground and dirt on top of our remains.
Are we more important then flesh and bones? There has to be a spirit or spark that pushes us beyond this thing we call earth and into an eternal realm.
If not what is the point in being here if we make no difference and are soulless?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

What Is A Safe Drug ?

Recently a report came out saying that alcohol is more additive and cost more to our society then heron and cocaine.
I'm not sure how this study was preformed,nor was I privy to how true the findings are,scientifically,to said study,and as such am unable to really make a decision on whether or not I believe what was concluded has fact in this study.
The one thing I do know,from personal knowledge,is that all drugs are harmful when abused.
Alcohol like,marijuana,when done occasionally and used by a person who does not have abusive tendencies is safe.But like all things those who can not have one occasional drink or smoke are in trouble,no matter what they use.
With that said let me make it clear that I am not in favor of legalizing heron or cocaine because the cost to society has an illegal drug has been great and just because you make something legal and controlled does not mean it will not be abused,look at all the abuse of prescribed drugs going on in this country.
We have had drug and alcohol issues since we started this country many of our fore fathers spent much time in taverns and after the civil war morphine addiction became so bad that it could no longer be on the free market making it one of our first controlled substances.
In the 1920's alcohol abuse became heightened,when Prohibition was enacted and one of the results was a new group called the mob,which would haunt our society with corruption for the next 40 or more years.
So what to do?
Unfortunately when ever something is illegal it becomes more desirable by those who are not allowed to have it.
But making everything legal will also not help because you still have the same problems with those who are denied.In the medical world those who are not prescribed will take from those who are causing unintended prescribed drug abuse.
I think we stand between a rock and a hard place.
Hundreds of years ago during the opium wars China made its country a closed society.Opium abuse had become such a great problem in China that trade with foreigners became limited to certain sea port areas and no outsiders where allowed into their country.
So what to do?
Seems no one has a real answer because even when something is legal it still becomes abused by those who do not fit into the rule of being one of those who may have.
For example under age children and teens,addicts and non prescribed adults.
Its a tough question,even those educated has small children do not comply,just look at all the teens and young people who smoke cigarettes in our society today, they understand the consequences of what they are doing,health wise,but choose to do it any ways.
I guess we are in the end,a fallen people and as such will always want what we can not have.Just ask Adam and Eve about a certain tree in a garden,talk about paying the ultimate price for a bad choice.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Women Get Out And Vote !

I have been a registered Republican since I was the legal voting age.And although it can be very upsetting,being a conservative in a state of Democrats,I still vote in every election that this town,state and country holds.
We has Americans are given a very special privilege of this thing called "a vote".Many countries do not enjoy this freedom and for the most part our votes do count,even if there may be a bit of fraud here or there.
It is especially important for women to vote.Not because we hold the purse strings and run the house holds, but because back before the 1920's women were not allowed the luxury of picking those who would run the government.Women had to literally fight for their rights with shear strength of will.
We as women owe it to our female ancestors,who felt the right to vote was important enough to be beaten,jailed and ridiculed,to stand up and make our voices heard.
Not having the time or being to tired is not a good enough reason to not find some time in your busy day to get out and do your civic duty.
The suffragettes of the 1920's did all the hard work and took all the physical and verbal blows so we,the women of today, could walk into our local polling places and make a difference in the governorship of our country.
In this country not much is asked from us,but if we refuse to speak out how can we complain about our rights being violated or our voices being shut down?
Now I must tell you most of the years I have voted very few of my candidates have won,remember I'm a red puppy in a blue dog state.But even so I would never give up my opportunity to vote.
Being an optimist puts me in the position of thinking "well maybe next election this state will smarten up and vote like me".
After all I always believe I'm voting for the right person,don't you?
So take a stand tomorrow and vote,your grandmothers and great grandmothers would be proud of you.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Ballet And Communism

I am not a very classical person.I find opera boring,except for exceptional male tenors,and ballet not much better.
Tonight my husband and I went to see the movie "Mao's Last Dancer".
This is the true story of a child living in China in 1972.One day he was taken out of his village school house and brought to Beijing to be molded into a ballet dancer.
Up until watching this movie,I did not realize exactly how much work and exercise goes into this beautiful dance and these peoples fantastic physiques.
It reminded me of all the pictures I had seen,has a teenager,of Baryshnikov and how absolutely beautiful and fluid he was in both his dance and movements.
This movie also deals with this Chinese dancer coming to the United States and having to defect to stay in this country,then having to face the fear of retribution to his parents and 6 other brothers.
Having lived through the 60,70 and 80's I can fully remember people living in Communist countries having to defect once in the United States.
Now day most people under the age of 45 probably have no idea of defections or how bad these countries were.When they praise such people has Mao they do not understand how horrible he was to his own country men and how controlled these peoples daily lives were.
Any thing you did could have you thrown in the gulag.There was no such thing as freedom of speech or individual ideas.You were one of the masses and to be educated or wealthy brought with it death,unless you were one of Mao's friends.
Thank God things like that are starting to change.
It really frightens me when people in this country bring forward ideas of how wonderful these dictators were and how they want to emulate their theories for the masses.How foolish
Can these,so called educated people,really be so crazy has to think that the government taking care of all your needs,including you thinking and speech,can be any thing but a bad idea? Especially when most of these people saying these ridiculous things are about my age and understand what these communist countries were really like.
I remember Tiena min square and the students who were arrest and sent to prison to be repatriated,it was not a good thing and China ended up not only looking like a civil rights violator,but being one.
Nothing good can come from to much government control and interference in our everyday lives.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Shared Burdens

Out of a seven day period this week,I have worked six of them.
Basically 3 days on,one day off and then three more days on.
Now for most people who work a Monday through Friday job it probably sounds rather childish of me to be complaining when most people work 5 days straight,then get their week end off.
The thing with my schedule is it is so filled with activity that it does not allow me to assess all the things that have taken place,both good and bad.
I have had multiple head spinning days,where I am over burden by situations of multiple kinds and the knowledge that I can not possibly act and react to things all at once but feel that I need to.
Some days I just want to change my name,can 5 people really be calling me all at the same time and how do I react by not sounding rude or frustrated.
Being a nurse requires me to not make mistakes but it also requires me to listen to everyone and react immediately.
Tonight was our community meal at our church.This meal always allows me to feel at peace,even when those around me are reacting to their assigned jobs,not always so harmoniously.
To say we always get along well would be unnatural at best, but Fr.Peter always says you should be able to disagree with each other but always come back in peace and work together for a positive outcome.
And we do.
When ever you try to do a job with a group of educated people everyone feels they have the best ideas and solutions,its a good way to learn humility because even if you do have the best idea,you have to be willing to allow others to preform the task has they feel is best.
You just can't be in control of every thing all the time.
When we do our community meal the burden of every thing does not sit on my shoulders,instead it is a shared weight for a good cause with loving and concerned people.
Tonight our frustrations seemed to be with the fact that we have a Turkey shoot tomorrow evening and the people interested in this event found it frustrating to be asked to wait until our meal was over,before rushing to set up their event.
See one of the biggest problems our Church has is friction between that which makes money and that which assist the community and makes spirituality.
Its good to have these two polar opposites to face each other because it causes us to try and keep a balance.
A church needs to raise money to keep it running but it also needs to help people in the community in order to be what a church is suppose to be,a glorification of God.
So with some abrasion we were able to work things out and go from a community meal to a Turkey Shoot set up in a matter of minutes.
Once again trying to balance the pendulum of peace.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Healings / Cures

Seems today is a bad day for my friend with M.S.
She is in great pain and unable to walk.
So what now? well we do for our friends what we can.We reach out,comfort and say prayers because God in his infinite wisdom knows the hows and whys not us.
We are not privy to the rest of the story only bits and pieces.
It makes me very sad when I see people in pain and although I can not feel what she feels physically,I can feel emotionally what she is going through.
We has Christians believe that prayer can heal but this is a two way street.The person asking for the healing and the person in need of the healing must both have great belief that what ever the out come is,it is in God hands not ours.
God will be done.
I once read somewhere that there is a difference between a healing and a cure.
You can be healed physically,mentally or emotionally but not be cured from your disease.
You may also be cured from a sickness but not healed from what you have and are going through in other areas of you being.
Either way it all sits in the hands of God.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fr. Peter says its because we are fallen by nature.
I guess like Adam and Eve we too are destined to end up deceased,at least physically not spiritually.
God does not make us sick to punish us or the ones around us.But he does allow those who are near by to be given the opportunity to be better persons through our illnesses.
We are our brothers keepers and that means through sickness and health.
We are allowed to be better people because we have extended the hand of God through us to the body of another,who is made in the image of Christ.
Never look bad things in the eye and think nothing good can come out of them,have faith enough to understand that we see bits and pieces of a puzzle but not the whole picture.
It is our job here on earth to be a blessing to someone every day of our lives and sometimes our blessing are small and sometimes they are great.


I would say that just about everyone one of us lives with some sort of secret that we either choose to,or are unable to bring forward and tell anyone else about.
We have all done something or been hurt in some way that we feel we are to ashamed of or think is to embarrassing,to ever bring into the world for another persons ears to hear.
I have always belonged to churches that view confession has an outward expression of our faults and a way,by saying the words out loud,of healing our inner selves.
But even when we do go to confession most of us do not really bring forth things that we are truly upset about or embarrassed by.
And for years,maybe to our death bed,we do not disclose or even trust that God himself could really make us whole.
So our real selves,down to our soul,or pit of the stomach as some people call it, never get brought to the light of day.
We don't understand that saying something out loud can be not only freeing but also healing.
Two days after my 21st birthday,my older brother,who lived in Washington D.C.decided after breaking up with his girlfriend,drinking to much booze and smoking to much dope,to put on a record called "only the good die young",then placed a hand gun to his head and killed himself.
I was devastated because I loved him greatly and could not understand how someone has strong has he was could do this and someone has weak has I was could go on with my life.
To tell you that suicide did not also enter my mind would be lying to you and although one day I decided to drive into one of the great big trees that lined the cemetery route,I had second thoughts,called myself a coward and went on with my life.
6 months after his death I decided to get into a failed marriage,which I knew was doomed from the start,and spent two years being angry and disillusioned but now with a child.
It took me over 20 years to finally decide to myself I needed to forgive my brother for the pain he inflicted not only on himself,but me too.
One day I went to the cemetery and stood over his grave and said "Jerry I forgive you and I love you." I then laid down on the ground near the brass marker,with his name on it,and kissed it.At that point I acknowledged that I would not only still love him but pray for him,even though,knowing in his suicide letter he had denounced God.
When I stood up I felt peace and freedom like a very heavy burden was now lifted,the way I felt when I was 20,able to see a future in my life and move toward it.
We need to bring our issue to the light.
We need to say the words out loud even if only in God ear shot.
The devil wants all thing to stay inside us,eating away and rotting our very personality and being.
He wants us always angry with a chip on our shoulder,ever seeing darkness, but God does not.
God wants us to be a clean slate and understand that he already knows what is eating away at us but wants us to stop and tell him so he can help us heal.
In AA they have a 12 step program.I am told that one of those steps in to tell your story and admit who you are,opening the way for who you can become
I think God is the same way he will help us with our issues once we choose to tell,not just him but ourselves.
Once you unburden yourself you are now free to fill that dark void with light and this is what God wants,but Satan does not.
Come to me all you who are heavy laden,for my yoke is easy and my burdens are light.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

One Piece At A Time

Yesterday after work,I decided to watch the Glenn Beck show,he talked with an audience of small business owners and how they had gotten where they where and how hard it is becoming to now start small businesses,what with all the red tape and rules.
Glenn said something very interesting,he said that when ever we start a new project we are first told it can not be done,then we are laughed at and lastly we are accepted by others once we accomplish our success.
I have to admit I have seen this several times in our own church.When we first decided to start our monthly community meal we were told it was not in the church budget and it would not be successful,but when we became successful,the number of people there to assist us grew from 4 serves to now 10 on a good night.
Glenn also talked about like mindedness coming together to help each other.
He said when God wants us to do things he gives us one thing to do then when we do what he tells us he then gives us another thing to do but now with the help of another like minded person.
God may say "here is a red box.Now pick up your box and go stand on the corner over there".We may not understand why we are to do this,but if we do what we are told, sure enough someone will come along and say "I have been looking all over for a red box,come with me and I will show you what we can do with your box".
I have found this to also be very true.
When my mother became sick with cancer my husband,who at the time was my boyfriend, and I decided it was time for us to get married.Since we did not want to be married by a Justice of the Peace,my brother in law told us about Fr. Peter being the new priest at his church.Before I knew it one thing led to another and now not only am I married but also converted to Orthodoxy and assist our church with multiple functions,when ever possible.
Who would have know one step would lead to another.
I guess God does not want to frighten or overwhelm us by giving us to much information at one time,so instead,he puts the pieces of the puzzle together so slowly that we do not even realize we are making progress.Then one day we look back and become breathless by all we have been allowed to achieve, not just by our selves but with the help of those around us,both friends and strangers alike.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Just The Facts

Today is October 22 and by all accounts I can see we still have way to many days and political adds until November 2nd,v-day or vote day.
The fact that the only political adds I have heard,up until now,have been negative,is leading me to believe that I now know more about these peoples teenage antics,unscrupulous lives and personal business dealings and less about their political positions.
This in turn is starting to say volumes to me about which direction this whole mess is heading and its not pretty.
Granted I'm no saint but could we please discuss the issues of government concerns not if this candidate encouraged her wrestlers to use steroids or that candidate bought a business in South Carolina only to run it into the ground and make millions.
Hard has it may be to believe that a wrestler from the WWF would use steroids.. I personally don't care.
True this would make a good soap opera,but it tells very little about the fact of why I should or should not vote for you to run not just my state, but my country.
The clock is ticking with only several weeks left to try and make an intelligent,if not somewhat informed,decision about who will be my next Governor and Senator.
Do me a favor folks could you just come out and lay your points of view on the line?
I'm not sure if these personal attacks are being done on purpose,just to keep me from knowing the truth or if its just laziness on the part of the candidates.It could also be they possibly fear that what they say they will do they may have to try and live up to,but lets forget all that and try to get a spine here people and stand up for your principals.
I know one thing,it certainly does not give me that warm fuzzy feeling of confidence in any of you.
Help me I'm confessed and may end up tossing a coin to narrow down my decision and aid me in my choice while standing in the ballot box..
Has our man Sargent Joe Friday said on that memorable show Dragnet "Just the facts Mame,just the facts."
OK folks,I'm a big girl,give it to me straight why exactly should I be voting for you?
Because if you don't know why your the best choice then I certainly don't know why either.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Hearing From God

The one thing I have learned about hearing from God is it never really happens when I expect it to.
Many is the time I have been in prayer,stopped to be still in contemplation,so has to hear God ever present voice,only to find he has nothing to say,so I assume.
I think this happens because I am in a state of not asking,or listening with a real need.
This morning while in my car driving to run an errand,I was mulling over in my mind why my husband and I were having a disagreement.
Now I felt in my heart of hearts that my opinion was correct and his was wrong.
That I could see the bigger more spiritual picture and he was focusing on the more earthly side of it.
In frustration I said "Lord why are you putting me in this situation when I know that I'm right and he is not seeing the big picture here?" To which I heard a voice say "because you need to be the example."
At that point I amusingly thought "sure make me be the example,its all about me doing all the work again."
These usually seem to be the times when I get answers because,I guess,these are the times when I'm just plain simple and honest with him.
Ask a simple question get a simple answer,that's what I've learned.
True proper prayer and meditation helps us to get to the point of cleansing our selves to focus better, but sometimes I think God just likes us to lay it on the table and honestly talk to him like any one else.
I am always very surprised at the answers he gives me because there never what I think it will be,its always something I never would have thought of and that's usually how I know the answers are from him.
I guess "keep it simple stupid" should be part of our prayer routine every now and then,at least for me anyways.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Worth And Value

We live in a very materialistic society.
Worth is valued at the number of dollars in an account,the designer clothes on ones back and in ones closets and the number of letters after ones name.
Are we really more valuable because we please societies ever present need to one up another person?
I work in the medical profession and let me tell you,you can never have to many titles or letters after your name.It makes you seem more knowledgeable and better able to take care of the needs of others.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not one of those people who feels that money and titles are a bad thing but I just feel if you use these things to give you worth then how truly sad are you in the end.
When you sponsor an event is the main reason you do it for the dollar signs?
Does the applause of what a great job you did mean more then the joy you may have brought?
We value things for all the wrong reasons and we expect good to come out of it for the same wrong reasons.
Why do we as Christians do things,then when done for worldly reasons not understand why the joy we are to feel does not last?
What good is money if you've missed the point of the mission?
Does a church or religious organization spend more time worrying about how to stay afloat then how to throw out a life line and save another human beings dignity.
There are several things we are told by Jesus himself and they are love one another,do not worry about tomorrow and have faith.
Things we all seem to forget when dollar signs do,or do not,roll in front of our eyes.
What is value and where is it? Are we suppose to live more in the worldly range or more in the spiritual range?
I tend to place great faith in the fact that God will lead and sometimes what we may see has failure may truly be success.
We are not here to sit in the boat or the church,when the storms start.
We need to have enough faith,like St.Peter,to step over the side and follow Jesus beckoning to us.
You will never know if you can walk on water if your sitting at the wheel holding on out of fear for dear life while the boat is flooding.
True a church can not survive with out money but it also can not survive with out members and if we lose sight of the opportunities given us to connect to the rest of the world then the point of having our doors open is all for not.

Monday, October 18, 2010


Saturday morning we left for Pennsylvania to attend a wedding of my husband,cousin,daughter.
When I awoke,at about 2 am,on Saturday morning,I could feel my ears filling up with fluid and a slight fever.
Now I'm no baby and besides the suitcases were packed,so we were going,end of story.
The night before I had decided to make beef stew to take with us.I put it in my crock pot at 8pm to be ready by morning,But alas I had set the pot on low instead of high,so the potatoes were not fully cooked.
O.K. I can adjust,I put what we were taking with us,into a pot and let it cook,on the stove, for an about an hour,then packed it for our up coming adventure.
Once in the car Vic set the GPS for the route he wanted to take.After riding down the road for 20 minutes it became apparent the GPS wanted to take its own route,with some reprogramming and not so nice words,on my husbands part,we were ready to resume our adventure.
Tings were working out,rather nicely until our friend, Tom Tom,messed up in the middle of Hartford,with more swearing and throwing of the GPS to the floor,I decided to pull out the atlas and become tom tom back up.Checking and rechecking correctness the old fashioned paper map way.
About 2 hours into the trip it became rather apparent that Vic's heart and patients were not into this whole wedding in Hershey Pennsylvania thing.
Finally I told him "Look I don't know why your so angry but if you really don't want to go lets turn around and go home,because 6 more hours of this and I'll be jumping out of the window and walking home."
To which he added "your right I'll calm down."
At noon we stopped at a rest area to heat up our stew on the propane stove,suddenly the wind began to gust and it became very cold.
Eating fast was now on the agenda and although I'd forgotten to add salt,it did turn out to be filling and healthy,though bland.
Four hours later we made it to our destination,the GPS told us to take a right turn, ending up on a dug up dirt road.We both agreed that this just didn't seem like the place you would stick a Hilton Hotel.Turning around we saw the hotel across the street,oh well not to far off I guess.
After checking in at the lobby we journeyed up to our room,then found our friends and family members.We cleaned up and were off to the brides rehearsal dinner.
Driving up to the house we found multiple cars in the driveway but no one home.Thinking we had missed them,it was decided to go to the Manson where the meal was being held,only to find out we were first at the wrong Manson and second the bridal party was still in the back yard going through their rehearsal.
With new directions in hand we came upon a very french,ornate Manson complete with velvet drapes and gold hand painted vases.
The food was wonderfully french with cream,butter and cheese on every thing.A killer meal laden with cholesterol.Viva La France...
We ended the meal with homemade dark cherry brandy,which the bride father had made from cherries grown in his back yard,one year before his passing.
It was the best brandy I have ever had and wished I'd had the recipe.
Has we were leaving I turned Vic attention to an urn with Napoleon painted,we then walk out the dining area only to find my rather small brother in law sitting in a very large high backed,red velvet chair,slouching and looking defeated.It reminded me of a painting I once saw of Napoleon,I remarked to Nick that he looked much like this painting to which he added "But I'm taller".
The next morning after a rather large breakfast,we decided to spend our three free hours at the Gettysburg Battle Field.
I do love Gettysburg and while roaming along the monuments we stumbled across a group of re-enactors from Ohio,who had set up a small encampment and a telegraph system,my husband,an engineer,found this to be very informative and decided when he got home to investigate the works of said machine more closely.
I on the other hand,learned that most telegraphs during the war were run by women,since the men where gone.They were so effective that when the telephone came into being women where chosen to be operators.
After several hours of quite strolling it was time to head bad for the big event.
The bride could not have chosen a more beautiful day for an out door service,with everything coming off very smoothly.
The reception was held in Hershey the Hershey Hotel,with all having a great time,meeting old relatives and eating way to much rich food.It seemed to end to soon.
Since we had not brought our car,we were invited by the bride's mother to ride back in the limo with 12 other people.
Every thing was great,people laughing and talking,arrangements of flowers every where,but 15 minutes into the trip ,Maria,the bride mother,and a doctor,asked everyone to be quite,so she could talk on her cell phone.
It seems the groom had a migraine headache and took an ultram,but had forgotten he had been drinking,causing him to pass out.The bride,being scared was not sure what to do for her new husband.
Phone calls were made to 911 from the limo and,to the frustration of the brides brother,all sorts of ridicules questions were being asked,which had nothing to do with said patient.
The limo then was turned around and we all headed back to the hotel.
Upon arrival at the hotel,both doctors in our limo jumped out and ran up to the grooms room to find the EMT there and the groom,though embarrassed, feeling somewhat better.
We made it back to our hotel at about 2 am. I had a cup of chamomile tea,then fell asleep immediately.
Monday I awoke to a slight fever and cough and spent the whole trip home blowing my nose,drinking water and trying to stay awake.I don't like to sleep when I'm alone with someone on a trip,I'm afraid they also will fall asleep,from boredom.
The last 100 hundred miles seemed to drag,I could not believe how long it took 5 miles to go by,never mind one hundred.
All in all we had a wonderful,though drama filled,weekend and I'm glad to be home.
I now plan on gargling with warm salt water,taking some Tylenol and going to bed,because I feel my fever coming back.
I can tell you at this point,boredom,sometimes can be under rated.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Choose Peace

Do you know that you can choose to live in peace?
Peace is not something that just happens it's an active decision you make to not allow the issues around you to bring you into a state of disharmony.
I have decided that in order to feel true peace I must work at not allowing the other guy to fill my mind with negative emotions like fear,worry, anxiety or discontent.
Every day we must affirm that with the help of God we will not allow negative emotions to pull us in a down ward motion.
We can not be at peace if we do not think about and firmly resolve,everyday,that to be unhappy is to be Un-God like.
God tells us many times in the Bible to come to him with our worries and troubles and to be at peace.
Now I know that being positive is not something everyone can do,but type A personality or not,we can not handle all things alone and how much more freeing it is when we can cast our worry and anxiety to the wind and let the chips fall where they may.
To be to controlling about everything in life is to be prideful,feeling we know better then God and can work things out with out him.
When we resolve to stop this constant rattle in our brains of negativism we begin to understand what solitude and peace is about.
Unfortunately when we do have these break thoughts,the Devil will try and play harder with our minds and emotions,pushing us deeper into despair.
You know just because the evil one knows we are now with God by faith does not mean he will not try to make us miserable by confusion.
When we choose to be christian we also choose to be ambassadors.
If we are the poster children for Jesus then we must also understand that we must now change our attitudes to be more positive and at peace,more in line with Jesus teachings.
Choosing not to be at our best makes us bad promoters,lets face it who wants to hear from depressed,sad,angry,worried people who call them selves Christians.
It doesn't exactly promote the cause,if you know what I mean.