Monday, February 28, 2011

Diet/Fasting--Is It All About The Food?

Most days that I work I either have an eat everything in sight day or,like Saturday,a granola bar and coffee in the morning and nothing else til I get home,type of day.
Sunday morning several of my nurses aides informed me they had started diets.
Some on Jenny Craig and some on Weight Watchers.
They all decided on Friday to try and make an attempt to rein in their weight issues.
Well like most diets its always easier to decide on Friday after a big supper then to follow through on Sunday,after two days of what feels like you'll never put another pleasing piece of food in your mouth again.
Each person told me exactly what they could and could not eat,how many food points they were allowed and how once they lost the weight they planned never to be heavy again.
One girl even told me she and her husband were on their weight lose paths together and they had decided how they would eat during week days,so on Friday night they could get take out from their favorite restaurant,Longhorns,allowing their selves ribs and baked potato night.
As the day went on each person told me how deprived they felt,it wasn't that they were hungry,it was more that they missed not being able to eat what they wanted and liked and seemed to spend a great deal of time thinking about what they could not have and how meager the choice were becoming as their diet days were progressing.
This Sunday in our Orthodox faith,started what we call Meat Fare.
After Sunday we start on our journey of fasting by first giving up meat.
Now I know your saying "What Lent has already started,did I miss it?"
No you did not.
We,as Orthodox Christians sometime like to over achieve and start things,I guess just for practice.
After Liturgy on Sunday,our church,St.Micheal,had what we call an extended coffee hour where every one brought in food to be offered to all,as a sort of good bye to pleasure and abundance day and a hello to fasting.
My husband,being the good and loving man he is,brought a container of these delicacies to work for me, so I could also partake.
Of course several of my dieting friends walked by and told me how good my food looked,but they had already had lunch and did not choose to have any of my pleasures.
At present they were committed to weight lose.
When I got home Vic and I went out to Chili's,and as a kind of a farewell tribute to meat,I ordered a hamburger,with bacon and cheddar cheese,which,if I follow the fast correctly,will not be mine to taste again for more then a month.
This morning has I looked over the face book section on my Internet,I came across a posting called "A list of thing to have in ones pantry during fasting times."
I went to the site and read about half of said list then thought to myself "for something that is suppose to be a discipline there is an awful lot of pre-thought to this whole fasting thing."
"Food,food,food!" I wanted to scream out. "Enough with the food already!"
We seem to spend an awful lot of time thinking about what we are suppose to be forgetting about and that is the enslavement to our stomachs.
Fasting,as I understand it,is a way of disconnecting our selves from the driven need to eat,our physical pleasures,and turning more to our spiritual and Christian hungers and attempting to fill them.
The past two years I have tried to make it my aim not to feel deprived of food during fast periods,focusing instead,on the fact that to eat better,more healthy foods,during Lent,is a way of making my body,my temple,more in tuned with the needs of God and those around me.
Stopping my desire for junky foods and life style and moving more toward a purer link with God.
Fr.Peter always says if you follow all the fasting rules but have not changed in any way then you may has well eat the hamburger,or in my case the bacon cheddar cheese burger, because you missed the whole point.
To much emphasis on food and not enough on how you plan to spiritually change,over the up coming fasting period is just has much the work of the devil has committing sin.
If your mind is wrapped up on food all the time then you've lost sight of being wrapped up in God.
Now don't get me wrong fasting,like dieting is allot of work but it is also suppose to be a change in attitude as well as a change in diet.
At this time of year I try at every meal to center my self on eating healthy for the next 40 plus days.
Yes each day is a struggle but it should be no more of a struggle then finding true harmony and peace with our spiritual side.
Supposedly as we grow farther from our physical being and needs we are to grow closer to our brothers and sisters around us in an attempt to be more Christ like.
Like dieting,our main objective is to take our growing hunger to fill our mouths and stomachs with excess and transfer it to a new growing need to fill our souls and spirits.
In the end we want to take this new found weight loss and grow it into continued maintenance of our daily lives in Christ.
Fasting should not be allot of pre thought on how our kitchen cupboards are set up,it's emphasis should be on how our spiritual cupboards are set up.
If we fill our kitchen but not our souls then we may as well have the hamburger and forget the fasting.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Cell Phones May Alter Brain Activity

Yesterday while reading the Worcester Telegram and Gazette,I came across an article on radiation and cell phones.
Researches from the National Institutes of Health have found that less then one hour of cell phone use can speed up brain activity in the area closest to the phone antenna.Once again raising new questions about effects of low level radiation emitted from cell phones.
The researcher led by Dr.Volkow,director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse,
urged caution in interpreting these new finding because its not known if the changes seen in brain scans have any meaningful effect on a person overall heath.
According to a published study found Wednesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association,is among the the first and largest to document that the weak radio frequency signals from cell phone alter brains activity.
The study is important because it documents that the human brain is sensitive to the electromagnetic radiation that is emitted by cell phones.
It also high lights the importance of doing studies to address the question of whether,or not,long lasting consequences of repeated stimulation over a 5,10 or 15 year period is important.
A few observational studies have suggested a link between heavy cell phone use and rare brain tumors,but the bulk of the available scientific evidence shows no added risk.
This study does not enlighten us in terms of whether this is detrimental or could even be beneficial,Dr.Volkow says it just tells us that even though these are weak signals the human brain is activated by them.
The researchers used brain scans to directly measure how the electromagnetic radiation emitted from cell phones affected brain activity.
Although an increase in brain glucose metabolism happens during normal brain function,the question is whether repeated artificial stimulation as a result of exposer to electromagnetic radiation might have a detrimental effect.
So whats the answer? Seems the former director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Center and prominent neurosurgeons urge people to use headsets as a precaution.
You never can be to safe when it comes to your brain.

Love Your Brother/Love Your Self

What is the real meaning of Jesus teachings?
Believe it or not all God desires from us is one little word "LOVE".
Seems simple doesn't it?
Not so,love has to be one of the hardest things we can do.
In our minds,love of self always seems to take over any desire we may have to love others.
Call it self preservation or maybe an underlying need for our own glorification,but loving others just seems,at times, to get in the way of our need to be number one,on our love scale.
Now when the Bible speaks of love it defines it has agape,or brotherly love.
It means not going out of my way to hurt others,but wanting to respect and be kind when possible,a sort of do no harm law.
We are basically carnal in nature wanting for lustful things like money,power,fame or the physical bodies of others.
Our interpretation of the word love in our society is rather loose at best.
We love cars,boats,food,clothes,jewelry and so on,we can even love a hamburger,just ask McDonald's,because there "lovin it",at least according to their advertisements.
Jesus talks about loving our neighbors has your self.
But in order to love in this way you have to,first of all,love or at least like your self.
You can't treat someone well when you don't even understand how to treat your self with respect.
I firmly believe that God wants good for his children all the time.
The problem is we do not want good for ourselves,so how can we possibly want good for the rest of the world.
I have heard that what comes out of a person mouth is what is in their hearts.
So if you say bad things about,not only your neighbor,but also your self,then you are not right with God in his understanding of real love.
The evil one,in my own opinion,is always setting up road blocks for our failures.
When we dislike our selves we are not in God territory, but the other guys.
When you say things like I'm not good enough,everyone hates me,I could never do this or that because I'm not smart enough shows us exactly where our minds and hearts lie.
This sort of attitude can only bring condemnation to not only us but those around us.
If we see ourselves has not worthy then how can we see those around us has any better.
Believe it or not thought patterns can be changed.
How? by self determination and new habits.
When negative thoughts come to mind we must stop them in there tracks and say to our selves "I am a child of God and he wants only the best for me and I want only what he wants.God loves me,I am valuable because he made me who I am and he is my loving parent."
Say this when ever negative thoughts come to mind and after awhile you will believe what you are saying.
Has always some time spent in informal prayer everyday can also help.
I have found that in my walk with Christ if I want an answer its always better to get right to the point and say what you have to say.
Sometimes I think God doesn't like it when we beat around the bush,if its in you heart let it come out your mouth in prayer and the answers will be right in front of you.
Of course the answer may not be what we want to hear but then God sees the whole picture we do not.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Closer Walk

For the past 6 years I have tried to become a more spiritual and serious minded Christian.
What this means is I try to practice more time in prayer,bible reading,studies, meditation and church attendance when possible.
You can not be close to God if you stay far away from him and his teachings.
Change has to occur in your life,even if its just small amounts at a time.
When you choose to become serious in your walk with God it requires you to listen and pay attention in order to truly follow Jesus teachings.
If no man is an island then no true Christian is one either.
As I have tried to journey ever closer to God I have found myself trying to understand Jesus on a more personal level.
For many months now it has become my aim to study the basics of Jewish beliefs,I want to know and understand what Jesus daily life was like,what he understood and why.
Up until now I have not been able to understand my drive for this knowledge but I think it has been made clear to me that like a close relationship the more you know and understand the other person the closer you become to them.
When my husband and I were first dating I wanted to know everything I could about him,where he went to school,what his family life was like,his likes and dislikes.
Because he was someone so special and I loved him so much any thing in his past was all relevant to my life.
It gave me the ability to brag about him,defend him,please him and in the end just grow so much closer to him.
The Bible says that when we marry the two shall become as one.
In our walk with God we also need to become one with him in our understanding and love.
The more we learn and understand the closer we can become,helping us to become more one with God and his will for us and our lives.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

God's Presence

I believe that all prayers are answered,some answers are yes and some are no.
That's alright with me because like a good parent,God gives us what we need not what we desire.
Prayer can seem very repetitive some days,even a little dry on others,but persistence needs to be the goal and at some point our conversations with God can be enlightening to say the least.
Talking to God should be as natural has talking to a well respected and loved family member and friend,but many times the conversation gets one sided,with us saying everything and God not getting a word in edge wise.
I have times,when not so rushed,that I pause during prayer to await God's ever small voice,but because of my racing internalism I can not settle long enough to hear what the Master is trying to say to me.
Even still I believe God talks to me in other forms like when a friend speaks to me about something I was pondering over earlier in my day or I see something that touches my heart or possibly my soul.
Just the other morning I felt in doubt and confusion about where my religious life was headed.Was I on the right track with the right people around me to help me,or am I simply alone and just plain stuck.
Now this is not uncommon for me to doubt and question such things,I tend to do it often especially this time of year.
After praying for some time I felt a great white light engulf me from the top of my head to my eyes.A brightness,that even with my eyes closed,made me squint inside.
The shades in my bedroom,rolled down tight,allowing little light to enter through the bottom.
After coming out of my feelings of wonder and gratitude,I went down stairs to see what sort of weather we were having and as I opened the front door a small chubby little bird landed on the rail near me.
To me these are were all signs from God letting me know that I am in his presence.
Although my confusion still exist I understand that I am never alone and all my problems are heard.
Sometimes God is not a small voice he can also be light,breeze,water,animals and maybe flowers.
He is ever present always near but in touching beautiful visions of daily life.
We get so hurried in our day to day existence filled with worry and self centeredness we forget that God speaks to us always and is around us everywhere.
Our job in the end is to open our eyes and not only see the loveliness around us but become a part of it and feel it,admire it and enjoy it.
God wants us to live in joy and joy is not just one simple feeling it is an entire body experience.
Understand that God is everywhere not just in our prayers and mindset but in the world around us all day long.
Our job is to stop and recognise him,then we will see our issues are not so big after all.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Prodigal Son

Sunday reading was about the prodigal son.
Now for those of you unfamiliar with this story,its about a son,whose Father had great wealth.
The young man goes to his father and says "I would like all my inheritance now so I may go out into the world".
The father agreed and the son went out into a far off land to squander all his new found wealth.
When hard times set in,a famine throughout the region,the son found him self in a bad situation.
Being hungry and poor he gets a job feeding pigs.
He began to envy the pigs their food,because he was starving and no one had offered him any.
Suddenly he came to his senses and realized that even his father's servants had much to eat,while he had none.
The time had came to go back to his father and beg his forgiveness asking him to make him a servant,since he was no longer worthy to be considered his son.
The father on seeing his son far in the distance,was overjoyed,telling his servant's to get him his best robe and ring for his finger and to kill the fatted cow,for his son was lost and now found,dead and now alive.
The older brother,returning from the fields wanted to know what was going on,a servant told him,your brother has returned.
The brother became very angry and said to his father "why do you accept him back,give him a party and even killing the fatted calf,while I who have always been loyal to you,followed all your rules and done everything you have asked of me and you have never even given me a kid,baby goat,for me and my friends to party with.
The father said "you know everything I have is yours but your brother was gone and now he is back,was dead and now he is alive".
This story is filled with many dynamics.It holds not only one meaning but many.
First the father in this story is God and the son is us.
God has given us everything then set us on this earth,our far off region.
We have choices to make we can improve our wealth with investments in God and man or we can depreciate our selves with careless living and debauchery,thus we too will also be alone and starving,wanting for better.
But if we sincerely make the attempt to come back to God,ask humbly and meaningfully for forgiveness he will joyfully take us back into his house not just as a servant,like the angles,but has his very own child.
Next we have a dimension in the story of the jealousy of the older brother,the Pharisee,who feels slighted because he has always followed the rules done everything he can to always serve his father,except forgive his brother.
They,the Pharisees,do not like Jesus because he ministers to those who are lost from God and wandering at the bottom of life,whom Jesus is helping to bring back home to his Father.
In the story,the father,tries to explain to the older son that his joy has nothing to do with following the rules it has to do with seeking forgiveness and coming to him.
The son who hit rock bottom,which is told in the story when first he feeds the pigs,a no no for a Jewish person,and then desires to eat,the food the pigs are eating,which is lower then the pigs themselves.
Jesus was sent into the world to help those who've hit the bottom,he shows love from his father in the rejoicing that will be felt in heaven when one down and out child returns home and humbly ask for forgiveness.
This story ties in with the publican and tax collector.
We can stand in the middle of the Temple,like the publican and vainly ask for forgiveness by raising our eyes up to heaven and saying "yes I'm a sinner but I follow all the rules and thank God I'm not like that tax collector in the corner."
Or we can be the tax collector who feels so much remorse for his sins he is unable to raise his head up and simply and whole heartily ask to be forgiven.
At that point we become the prodigal son and not the Pharisee.
Because in the end its not just about following the rules and laws its about understanding their meaning in our lives and the lives of others.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Luke Warm Christians/Facing The Rite

Are you a luke warm Christian?
If push came to shovel would you be able to stand up to the devil and scream with your mouth, mind,heart and soul in his very face that you believe in Jesus Christ and nothing and no one is more powerful then God,not even the devil and his legions?
Does this seem like a strange question?
Tonight a friend and I went to see the movie "The Rite" a true story about a luke warm novice who becomes an exorcist with the help of a trained priest.
This movie was very compelling indeed.
We in the Orthodox Church,as with most churches today,do not like to talk about the evil one but,as this movie points out,just because you don't speak the name of Satan does not mean he is not there.
Actually he preferes it when you don't notice his presence,evil takes root better when not spoken about.
Some churches feel he is an old subject used to scare people into submission and nothing for us true intellectuals to concern our selves with.
Really,well that's what the devil hoped you would say.
You see this evil being is not concerned about you belief systems because he knows that very few of us really have the heart to believe in God so much that we will ever truly be willing to take a stand with our entire being.
The devil knows that we are weak and to keep us down he plays on our guiltes and doubts.
Trying to make you believe your not good enough,strong enough or capable enough.
We seem to have come to a point,through our great intellect of believing demonic possession,is just some silly idea held over from the dark ages.Lets face it its always much easier to say someone may have "psychological issues",rather then realize not all mental issues are made up,some of our demons are real.
The evil one wants you to hate yourself as he says in the movie "Satan love to torture children".
How easy it is for us to be deceived and how little effort he has to put into it to make us doubt,question and blame our selves.
Can you stand up in times of fear and questioning or will you be pushed to physical or emotional self destruction.
Being a Christian requires warfare on our part.
We can not live with one foot in heaven and one in hell at some point we need to stand firm one way or the other.
I have come to the conclusion that if we are to fight the good fight we need to know who our enemy is and what his tactical ploys are.
To take on an unknown force is to ultimately lose the battle and maybe even the war.
Temptation and guilt are such sutle things ever infecting our minds and corrupting our souls.
So quietly,ever so slowly,one drop at a time until suddenly we can't distinguish what our belief systems are any longer,everything in our thought processes just seem to blur together .
We need to talk more about evil and the devil,understand who he and his legions are and how best to fight them.
No devil works alone,usually they work in multiples.
If you want to change it you need to name it,bring it to the light,but then again "he" wishes you would not get so involved with such things as titles,because lets face it,whats in a name anyways?

Power Struggles

My husband and I are usually mutual agreers,with each of us giving or taking,for the betterment of our relationship,but like most marriages or partnerships,for that matter,there comes a time when what seems like a wall of disagreement stands in front of us,at that point we must decide if it is worth pushing and if so how hard.
Most disputes have a great deal to do with power more then issue.We all want to be right and no one really wants to give in for the betterment of the real issue.
Compromise is what marriage is mostly about,but this is not always 50-50,most times its 80-20.
Who gets to win and who gets to lose.
Recently I was reading my friend Laura blog "kiss the boo-boo",about humbling ones self to husband.
In some ways I think this is a good idea,but not because he is the man and I a woman but because of mutual respect and love for someone whom I feel is the most important person in my world.
This does not mean I am to become his doormat,it just means,that in most cases, letting him feel important as the decision maker is what makes him happy and isn't this why we are with our spouses or companions,for not just our happiness but also theirs.
As a nurse I work at a job were what I say goes.I am used to giving orders and expecting them to be followed through.
I hold a great deal of responsibility in my hands and am called to task for any mistakes or decisions I have made which do not ring true in the end.
My job requires me to be every ones mother and as such I must be confident in all my decisions in order to have people follow my lead and treat me with respect.
When I'm home I am not used to having to give the reins of leadership over to another.
To allow my husband to make decisions I may not feel totally in compliance with is very difficult for me but what I have learned is like a good parent,sometimes,you have to allow you spouse to fail in order to understand better decision making.
So to humble your self in most areas to your spouse is not always a negative thing but can also be a learning experience on both of your parts.
Now I understand that some people are in relationships where they can not do such things,because not everyone is married to a good and loving person looking out for the best interest of the family.
Lets face it some husbands are only looking out for themselves,so fear and intimidation can become part of a woman's everyday life,when this happens the marriage is out of balance and the decisions being made are whopped and unreasonable.
But in a healthy marriage,such things are not in the equation and so a respect for your spouse translates to the children as the respect they also need to show to their father.
Respect and humility can go hand in hand and does not mean that,that person is your owner nor you their slave,it means mutual trust that this man is your protector and your family support system.
No one can become responsible if they are not allowed responsibility just as no one can be deemed trustworthy if they are not given the chance to show trust ability.
Besides it takes allot of weight off your shoulders when decisions can be handed off to someone else.
Wanting or needing to control everything is a sign of insecurity,thinking only you can handle every issue that arises takes away the need for having a spouse.
If everything is about you then why do you need another person in your life? Seems you've already proven to your self that you alone make your self complete.
True every thing is not always going to go along with your best laid plans,but then again maybe your plans are not all that great but you just don't know it because you keep taking the same road over and over again.
You know Moses and his people kept circling around the same mountain for forty years,not because they were lost but because they could not understand that it was not all about their plans it was all about God plan.
Until they decided to humbled themselves God was very happy to just let them keep going around in circles,seeing all the sides of this mighty mountain but never getting to view the top,the most breath taking part of the trip.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

How Much Is To Much ?

Every February I begin to think about what to get or do for my husband's birthday,which,by the way, falls on March first and like Christmas,the date always seems to creep up on me like some great surprise.
Last night I went on line to see what was going on for concerts and plays.
As you can imagine not much is happening during this time of year,oh man same problem,different year.
While checking out the upcoming concerts I came across Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks.
I thought this was not a bad idea,I'm a Rod Stewart fan and Vic likes Fleet
Wood Mac,so this might work.
As I checked out the dates and locations,I also noticed the prices.
$135 to $175 dollars per seat.What! Alright now much as I like Rod I refuse to assist with his multiple wives child support and alimony.
How much is to much?
We are at present in a bad economy and even if we were not,I still would not consider paying this amount of money to any musician,who has been famous for over thirty years.
I think,just like sporting events,there comes a time when we the hard working consumers have to just say "no".
I know a great concert or wonderful professional sporting event is hard to turn down but sometimes we just need to draw the line and say "I think this is to big of a burden to ask of your fans".
I do understand all that goes into these events and how everyone is very talented and deserves to make good money,but at what expense?
To say these people do not work hard for their money is an under statement,but then again so do the rest of us and besides whose to say they are anymore talented at their jobs then I am at mine.
I just can't justify $135 for one ticket to a concert and that does not include the gas to get there,stopping to eat something and possibly buying a beverage and/or snack,once there.
Nothing at these events are a deal tee shirts and Cd's are over priced along with concession food and drinks.
I think if more people refused to attend these events,related to the cost of the tickets alone,maybe they would be forced to understand we are not made of money and since we need to be frugal maybe they do too.
I have a hard time justifying any one,except maybe a talented surgeon or physician making a million or more dollars a year.
So with another few more weeks up my sleeve,my search continues for a fun birthday present that wont break the bank or set my retirement back til I'm seventy.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Positive Or Negative

There are two ways to look at things positive or negative.
If you believe things will turn out well then no issue you are having,no matter how bad,can not be overcome.
It always seems that being sad and disillusioned is easier then being happy.
Could it be that thinking negative thoughts make us feel nothing worse can happen? Or maybe we need to have imagination in order to see the positive and when were sad that simply seems like to much work?
To bad because when we see the positive we understand that the sky can be the limit.
No darkness,no matter how black can not be brightened by a single candle flame.
I really see no point in dwelling on all the bleakness when there is always a possibility for brightness.
Today after so much cold whiteness it became my vision to see spring.
I took my two small stuffed snowmen off the table,near the parlor window and replaced them with a wooden bird house and two ceramic birds,then covered all the table tops with flower and leave printed fabrics.
It is time to absorb the beauty of the outdoor sunshine and see past what is left of the less then white colored snow.
Yes there may still be ice in the driveway but there is flowers and green grass in my heart.
Spring will be here with the excitement of new life,showing its head soon.
Tulips,wrens,grass,sunshine and all things warm and wonderful,will be here soon.
How can you not feel it in the air,see it in the sky or know it in your heart of hearts.
I know what I know,what I know and that is we are at the top of the winter peak and its down hill from here into the warm sunshine.
Count the winter days down and soon we will feel the grass between our toes.
Think negative and be depressed and dreary or think positive and see the potential in front of your eyes every day.
Soon to be reality,soon to be spring.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

HIPAA--Who Has Privacy Anyways?

In 2003,when I was in nursing school,the Hipaa laws were enacted.
Hipaa was set up for medical privacy so no one but whom you choose is allowed to be privy to any of your medical information.
I can remember my pediatric rotation,one of my jobs was to assist parents with signing these new forms explaining exactly how Hipaa works.
Well like all good things the government enacts,the fact that it all melts down and turns into a troubling pain in the butt is just inevitable.
My son spent 9 years in the military,ending up in Iraq for one of those years and now that he is a civilian,takes advantage of his military medical availability and testing when ever the government allows.
This morning the VA called to remind him of an up coming medical test and the preparation needed before said test.
My husband answered the phone and said "no he's at school right now but if you want to leave a message or number you can."
Before I knew it my husband,in frustration handed me the phone and walked away.
With hands full of suds,from my dishes,I grudgingly answered the phone and heard the lady on the other end say,"But I need to know your name and who you are before I leave a message or number."
I spoke with this woman who wanted to know who I was and how I was related before she would leave me any information.
Once she knew who I was she began to tell me about his test and prep needed for this medical test.
I stopped her and said "look just tell me your number,the time your office is opened and when he can call you back and he will."
I don't know about you but it amazes me how we can not be told basic information to leave a simple message but the government knows more about our information,which they gladly share with other agencies,then they will share with family.
True Hipaa in principle is a good thing but I'm tired of having to be put through the mill on basic family information while the rest of the world,total strangers are privy to more information about my husband or child then I am.
With this whole new government health care coming down the pike I fore see lots more interference in my life then ever before.
When you allow the government to be you provider you play by their rules and all privacy is off bounds.
Today I heard how the First Lady wants restaurants to cut back on the amount of food they serve us in restaurants,well there you go a mother state enacted by a government who feels they own you dietary issues.
Where does Hipaa fit in here? Am I also not entitled to the right of what I eat in my restaurant as a private act
I'm personally tired of having doctors push test on me,hospitals repeatedly calling me about doing said test,so I don't forget to show up and the pharmacy calling me to find out why my medication is not running has quickly as they deem necessary.
Where I work I deal with doctors giving me orders for medications that the pharmacy says they can not fill because the government says "no we don't pay for that we pay for this."
Funny I thought my doctor went to school to be wise enough to decide what he feels is in my best interest not the government.
I don't know about you but I spent the first 18 years of my life waiting until I was old enough to run my own life,now it seems like I have new parents telling me what to do.
Oh freedom where are you?

A Questionable Car Bomb In L.A.

Seems this morning L.A. is now getting a taste of what we in New England have faced since the day after Sept.11Th and that is the fear and threat of a questionable car bomb.
I think the reason why these south western states have not felt the true depth of our discomfort is because they are miles removed from us,on the north eastern coast, feeling we are over reacting in our fears and trepidations.
You know many states,who do not edge our northern boarders,have forgotten exactly what happened on Sept.11Th and that we are still at war.
We have forgotten our home fronts and are becoming complacent in that we are not involved in places like New York and their ever daily vigilance for safety.
We need to understand that we are a "United States" and as such we are our brothers keepers.
What effects one state effects all states be it terror threats,criminal activity,disasters,illegal immigration and much more.
This does not mean that we as states are not individuals but it does mean what happens in one state ripple down to the rest of us.
I don't feel that places like California can truly appreciate the fear that was and still is in the hearts of people who live in Mass,Conn,Rhode Island,New York and especially New Jersey.
To the western states it did not effect them the way it effected the rest of us.
To this day I can still remember the utter silence in the sky on the eve of Sept.11 and the fear that struck me personally when I heard a jet fly over our house.
Those fears of being bombed still hide in our hearts when ever New York deals with car bomb issues,even to this day.
Complacency is a cancer and we must ever be vigilant to not allow it to spread.
We can not live in fear but we also can not live in a never never land of unpreparedness.
All I can say to the rest of our country is don't get to comfortable because what touches us here in the north will eventually touch you in the west and south,if not sooner well maybe later..

Monday, February 7, 2011


While at a restaurant with friends,yesterday afternoon,we got on the subject of gifts,not presents but God given gifts.
My friend is very into reading and understanding end times,she feels gifted because she is allowed to see what she feels is end time signals and is very comfortable with these upcoming events.
I,on the other hand,feel God did not ask my opinion when he made the world and in the same respect,he is not really interested in my feelings about when,or how, the world will come to an end.
Don't get me wrong we are just gifted in different areas of our lives.
What gives her understanding,enlightenment and comfort does not,in my case,give me the same effect.
I feel my job on this planet is to help others and if the end is near then I need to work harder to accomplish my mission before God turns out the lights and calls it a day.
In the Bible St.Paul talks about the importance of understanding our gifts and using them.
We are all blessed differently and what we are good at is what God expects us to use.
That's why when we are doing the things we are blessed to do,we are successful.
Every talent we have is really an extension of God's hand and we are not owners of these gifts but rather, borrowers.
So our real purpose on this earth is to figure out what we are spiritually asked to do and join up with others,who are given blessings in different areas,allowing us to unite with each other.
Some of us are starters,some planners,other followers and still more enders.
Everything that begins will in time also end.
To every season there is a purpose under heaven.
So with all the strange and scary things going on in the world around us,we need to remember we do not stand alone.
United as a Christian family,the time has come to bring forth our talents to support and up hold each other,even if the times of tribulation may be near at hand.
We are promised by Jesus himself to "fear not for I am with you til the end of times".
So although the daily work sits in our hands,the future sits in his.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Works And Actions

The one thing I have learned about being a Christian is that if you do it properly you are required to be an action person.
According to the Bible words alone do not make you a follower of Jesus Christ,actions do.
These actions are not just helping those in need they are also taking the steps God ask even when they don't seem to make a whole lot of sense at the time.
Sometimes we are asked to do things just to prove to the Almighty himself,that we will do what ever we are being asked,just because we are asked.
This is called obedience and if you want God to give you a bigger chunk of his trust you must first prove you are trust worthy,even to the smallest details.
When Abraham was told to sacrifice his son,he did not know why,but followed through and gained not only his son but the entire trust of God and all that accompanied it,both earthly and spiritually.
What exactly is action?
Being able to stand up and say what you need to say to others out of faith,to do what you need to do even when you go against what every one feels is right and going it alone when every one walks away from you shaking their heads,because they no longer understand your destination.
Being a Christian means the closer you get to God the father away you go from the world.
A desire to step away from materialism,to help those who are cast away by society and feeling so deeply for another's pain that you not only understand it,you experience it both emotionally and physically.
We have a saying where I work,when we meet a staff member we have not see for awhile,we say "hey my brother from another mother,how are you?"
Today those words came true,when one of our residents lost her loving devoted child.
As we talked about how tragic this was,I said we are now her family and need to treat her like she is one of us.
Although we are here from different earthly parents,we spiritually all have the same father,so now we are required to carry her burden and lighten her load.
And in my mind that is what being a child of God is all about,putting our faith into action.
According to the Bible even the demons tremble at the name of God but faith with out action is incomplete.
You can not be religious through words alone,but by your actions will you be whole and complete.
That is what is required by you,if you choose to be a Christian.

Oh Breathing Space Where Are You?

This afternoon as I walked out of work I was struck by the height of the newly plowed snow piles,over 7 feet tall with paths and trails like some sort of white maze.
All I could think of was the movie "Dune" except instead of piles of sand we have snow.
I wonder if heaven is like this? All white and fluffy every where.
Sounds peaceful,doesn't it? Well not to me,at least not right now.
Maybe I'm getting snow blindness,but what ever it is I'm learning to hate the color white,not good when your a nurse.
As I drove down the street the snow on the roofs seemed to over power the height of the houses them selves.
Snow up to the front steps and porches could be seen every where.
Today I wore a bright yellow smock to work just to remind my self,and my patients,that there are more colors to our daily pallet then just white.
And so it goes another storm tomorrow,I'm beginning to feel that I may soon step out of my front door and be swallowed up,never to be seen again.
Alas whats a claustrophobic,like myself to do,but wait for a melting to take place,ever hoping to remove this feeling of being enclosed and weighted down.
Oh Phil,the ground hog from Pennsylvania,please no more winter,please not another six more week.
Me thinks that I shall never see,the green of grass beneath my feet.