Thursday, December 31, 2009


Now the problem with living in New England is it requires you to not so much like snow but to at least come to a mutual understanding with it.It will snow and we just have to bear with it until spring arrives.
Today is December the 31st and New Years is just around the corner,so close you can almost touch it.The snow has been falling since this morning and although the accumulation at present is not allot,in my mind even a little snow is to much.
This morning started out with me heading to work to pick up my check and file a paper required by my employer,the federal and state government,on my knowledge of medicare and medicaid fraud.I had to watch a movie on line then vow I truly did watch it,so help me God. Now there's 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
Then it was off to pick up a prescription and to the grocery store to buy food for a party at work tomorrow. Now what fool thought up this silliness of a party? Oh yeah me...
Next on my travels I went to the gas station and off to the bank,slipping and sliding now and then on the slick roads.
Happiness came to me when I stopped in Dudley at the local Honey Dew Donuts shop and got some hot coffee and roll,oh yes there is a God and he is good....
My drive home was uneventful and when I got to my yard I decided to park near the driveway and shovel before the snow gets to deep.Now As I was walking into the driveway,kapow on the ground I found myself,caused by some ice which I forgot about that had not melted in over a week,due to the exceptionally cold days we have been having,welcome to a taste of Alaska.
Can you point me in the direction of say Florida,please?
After Righting myself and realizing no one saw me take my digger I grabbed a shovel and moved the very light,powdery white stuff to the grassy areas and yes there is grass down there somewhere,I remember mowing it two months ago.
Finishing my snowy project it was into the house for a pair of scissors to open a new bag of bird food.Much to the delight of those feathery creatures I filled both their feeders.
Next I started a load of laundry then began to pack a bag for my husband who will be going with his sister and brother to Pennsylvania for his cousins funeral on Saturday.An eight hour drive is ahead of them and I do not envy them their trek.
It seems my life is always super busy.So much to do and so little time but I think while I'm doing dishes I will open the curtains and watch the birds as they pick at the feeder and realize just how lucky I am to have so much to do.there are many people out there who wish they could fill their lives with much but instead are sad and lonely.
So let it snow,let the birds eat and sing and let life go on.
This year I am happy that I am surrounded by dear friends whom we will spend time with this evening.First its off to service,then drinks and later some food.So many things and people to see and so fortunate am I to have each and every one in my life
Happy and safe New Year to all...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

what is love?

What is love? many people now days think love is only worth wild when it is convenient.
They feel love is a 50-50,give and take kind of thing and its all about how much do you please me and how much will you do for me.
Any one who has been in either a marriage or committed relationship understands that love is nothing like the above.
Love is selfless it requires patience when your tired,forgiveness when your angry,and kindness when your not in the mood to be nice.
My mother used to tell me a story when she and my father where on their honeymoon they met an older man who told them "Never go to bed angry,try to work out you differences or agree to disagree,you don't always have to be right and watch what you say to each other because you can never fully take back what you say in anger that has wounded another person."
We live in a very self centered world,its all about my pleasures.Vows and promises seem to mean nothing any more.It's me and my happiness and it doesn't matter who gets thrown under the bus,even innocent children.With this attitude its no wonder people like Tiger Woods don't feel a whole lot of remorse when thy cheat on those they profess to love
Love requires faith,the two just seem to go hand in hand.Each day I have faith that my spouse loves me and in return I love him.
Faith makes it possible to see the good for the bad,the bigger picture for the confusion of day to day life and the hope for the future we two have together.
Love also requires work,daily affirmations and most important prayer for the strength needed when the worlds temptations arrive.
We need to stop each day and see just how important the person standing next to us truly is.Why we made the choice to be with this person and how lucky we are to have them in our lives.
No one person is perfect and no one person can ever hope to meet all our needs.
Newness is nice but the fire felt from and an old flame can be more warming and inviting then that felt from a spark which comes and goes then burns out to nothingness.

Friday, December 18, 2009

What Is Christmas ?

It seems every year I always deal with issues at Christmas.This year was the loss of a friend Michelle Merrier.She was 35 years old married for 13 years and had a ten year old daughter.
Last Saturday she passed away from her two year battle with pancreatic cancer.
Michelle was one of the happiest people I know.Always laughing always happy,even when upset and forever caring of others.
It was not an unexpected loss but not an easy one either no one at 35 should die.
When my sister and I were in her car driving to the wake,Tuesday night,she said "you know I real hate Christmas this year."
"We have lost so many relatives and friends in the past 5 years I don't see any real need for this holiday and now with Michelle's' death it seems even darker to me."
I told her "Christmas is suppose to be to embrace and love those around you who are still here and yes things change but you have to be able to change with them."
I,on the other hand have always loved Christmas and still do.I enjoy the decorations and the music and everything.
Last night we had our community meal.Fr.Peter put up the tree,played music and everything seemed right.
We had color books and crayons for the kids,Gingerbread men at every table,macaroni and cheese for the meal.People talked and had a good time,some one celebrated a birthday and we raffled off 3 gift cards to some happy recipients.
When I get sad during the holidays I always think of a song from the movie "Scrooge The Musical" its goes "Happiness is whatever you want it to be."
God gave us his only son Jesus Christ he was his Christmas gift to us and in return we need to be the Christmas gift to others.
You are what the good news is all about.You and I are asked by God to give to our neighbors, brothers and sisters even just a smile something to make people feel they are not alone in this world.
There is a story about "a giving jar" and you and your family can do it.At the beginning of each new year take a jar and every one in the family throws their change in it.On Christmas eve you take the jar and put it on a needy persons door step.
You can ring the door bell and hide if you want to see the reaction of the recipient or you can discretely walk away and let them find it in the morning.
This is Christmas its not how much we get its what we give.
Life is not fair but we are here as Christians to love our brothers because in them is Jesus and as St.Theresa said "We are Jesus hands and feet,he is not walking the earth but we are."

Turkey Shopping

I had today off and decided it was time to get our Christmas Turkey.Now this,to most people,would seem like a simple and easy thing to do,after all I was going grocery shopping anyways and there is still 7 more days til Christmas.
Now I have certain turkey priorities that need to be met in order to pick just the right fowl.
First I wanted something frozen,since I'm working this week end,I don't want my bird sitting in the fridge for one whole week until Christmas day.
Now having a standard rather small freezer full of stuff the decision had to be made if there was room enough in it or if Vic,my husband, needed to go to one of his empty apartments to start a freezer up to hold this bird over til Monday when it would make its visit back to us to start the defrosting process in our refrigerator.
So much needed freezer measurements were taken and it seems it will be staying at our house from start to finish.
Second it must be organic with no processed broth in it only pure and natural will do.Ever since my mother died from colon cancer I buy only organic meat with no hormones or anti biotic.I know,I know but it makes me feel proactive,even if it were to make little or no difference at all to my future cancer prospects.
Third it must be a certain weight.Since we like our turkey done by rotisserie it can be no heavier then 16 pounds in order to turn effectively and not be off balance.
With all this in mind I started my journey in Putnam Price Choppers and was overjoyed to find the brand I wanted, but not the size.
So with a heavy heart it was off to Park and Shop in Dudley,Mass.there I found the right size but wrong brand and it wasn't frozen.
At this point I began to think ham might be our Christmas fare but my poor darling, Vic would be greatly disappointed at this change in menu and we can't have that on Christmas day,now can we?
Next to Webster,Mass.I went to end up at Shaw's,which has all sorts of organic things.Maybe,I hoped,my prized poultry would be found.
After searching the store for what seemed much longer then the 10 minutes it really was,low and behold an organic turkey.It was the right weight,the right size,frozen like a rock and all natural. "hip hip hurray another prayer answered!"
As I put my new 14 pound friend into the shopping cart and looked down lovely I began to laugh.Stamped on the front of its wrapper were the words "kosher."
I thought to myself "Does something about a Kosher Turkey being served at Christmas Dinner by an Orthodox family to their Catholic relatives seem appropriate to you?" I'm not so sure this is what the Rabi who pronounced it "Kosher" truly had in mind.
Oh well welcome to America the melting pot or should I say Turkey pan of the world.
....Shalom you all...or.... Merry Christmas...Which ever you prefer...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Gingerbread Men

Several days ago I decided to make gingerbread men,something I have never done.But Thursday is our community meal and I though how fun it would be to have a gingerbread man for everyone at their place setting.
Now just because I have never done something before does not mean I won't try it at least once.
My first 12 men came out pretty well and by the next dozen I thought I had it down,except I ended up burning their little bottoms,"ouch".So in the garbage can they went.
After I finished my first batch,mended some with a little emergency surgery with icing, then decorated them,I was pretty proud of my self,first for not giving up in tears then for how cute they looked. I then decided to move on to the next batch,which at present is sitting in the fridge until I can start in on cooking those little brown spicy men tonight.
Why it seems so important for me to do this is because the world is a hard place and if I can bring a little comfort and smile to someones face at Christmas it makes it all worth the frustration.
Besides by the time I get the next two batches done I should be an old pro at it and can honestly say I may never do this again,at least not this year.
You know never say never because you doom yourself to repeating past mistakes.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Well here I am all fired up after reading,and agreeing with,Fr.Peter-Michael Preble blog entitled "Morality and Tiger Woods.
What was it about? "Adultery".
This subject just makes me angry.Most people now days supposedly marry out of love,not arrangement or mail order.but because they want to.
I have never been able to tolerate people who cheat,not only once but multiple times,Sort of serial adulterers.
Why do people feel the need to be married if they know in their personal nature they like to be with multiple partners.For some reason we now live in a country that feels to be married and cheat is no big deal.In my mind it is.
When you cheat on someone you make them a fool and you embarrass your children.Just because you feel no one knows,your wrong.
Understand that the way you treat your spouse and family says volumes about you has a person.
When someone marries they vow to love,honor and cherish the person they are with.Your suppose to be there for the good and the bad times.not just the fun parts.
Everyone makes mistakes and if your in a marriage that's a mistake then get help or get out.There is no reason to cheat on your spouse.
We in this country never want to use the word Adultery we like to say having an affair or cheating but you know it is what it is so call it by name "Adultery".
Before my husband and I were married we lived together,we were committed and monogamous to each other.I had several friends who not only thought,but told me to my face that our living together was sinful.Yet these same women had no problem openly cheating on their husbands.
Every one has to lead their own life but when your life infects another person then its time to rethink your situation and make some unselfish decisions about your future.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Christmas Decotations

Christmas is once again upon us and with it comes the shopping and decorating.
Friday I started by putting up my wreath in the kitchen window and am hoping to get my entertainment center cleaned off and my manger put up.
I enjoy my manger as much as my Christmas Tree and love to set my white light around it then turn the parlor lights off and just look at it.
This has got to be one of the more peaceful things I do and it makes Christmas seem all the more lovely and precious.
Has I have gotten older Christmas now takes on a much different meaning.No longer are there small children around and fewer gifts are given.So the emphasis is more on the food and social aspects,not on toys and gifts.
We take the time to enjoy each others company and tell stories of the year that is almost over.
When I was a Catholic Mid Night Mass was always a favorite.I waited for my favorite song "Oh Holy Night" to be sung.The church just echoed with the words reverberating off the walls and ceiling and made me feel that falling on my knees for Christ was an honor not a burden.
It's important to remember why we celebrate this Holiday,it is about the birth of Christ in a stable here to make us whole with our father,God.
Every year there is always some town or store who feels the words "Merry Christmas" are offensive.But to me not saying and acknowledging Christmas to others is equally offensive.
For many people this is one of the only times through out the year that they step into a church or have good and caring feelings about their fellow men.
We need to get passed the nay Sayer,they are few and far between and get back to the reason we celebrate this Holiday.It is for that small child born in a manger who came to save us and unit us to God.
How can you be angry when this small baby is in your midst and is has real today has he was over 2,000 years ago.
So don't be afraid to say Merry Christmas to all...And mean it...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Moses The Law Giver

For several weeks now I have been reading the Old Testament.
At present I am up to Moses and how he went up to Mt.Sinai to received the Ten Commandments.
Moses was kind of our first judge and legal system.Seems he is always dealing with laws whether God is handing him commandments or his followers are expecting him to settle their daily disputes.
One day while Moses was near Mt.Sinai his father in law,Jethro,came by to bring him his wife and children,whom he had not seen since he left for Egypt to free the chosen people.
While his father in law was visiting he noticed Moses daily had to deal with long lines of people,settling their deputes and handing down judgements.
Being observant,Jethro pointed out that Moses was wasting allot of his time by being the only person able to settle issues.He pointed out Moses needed to share the load, By setting up several just men who could take over groups of peoples problems allowing them to settle small issues then Moses could deal with the really big problems.
Jethro pointed out that 1 just man could deal with 50 people,1 could deal with 100,1 with 500 people and so on,Kind of like a court of appeals.
Moses wrote all sorts of rules to help his people understand how to run their communities and be fair with each other.
Today we struggle with capital punishment,should we kill some one who takes anothers life? In Moses time he said if you accidentally killed someone you were punished and had to make amends to your victims family but if you premeditated and murdered your neighbor you were stoned to death.Even your animals could be stoned.Seems like they had issues with rocks back then.
So the next time you pass a court house remember who the original judge was,After God of course,and how our Judaical system started out.
Tough job Moses had,pretty stressful from day one.I'll bet there where days he wished he stayed off the mountain and away from the burning bush.Being a sheep herder isn't such a bad job...At least its quiet...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Today was mammogram day for me, which I must admit is the one test I wish I could do with out.
There has been so much controversy lately.Do I have one? How often do I need one? and What if they find something,is my life over?
Up until this year the standard was once a year whether you needed it or not.Now they say every several years up to a certan age then every year after that unless you have a history of breast cancer.It's all so confusing isn't it.
Some times being a patient means being a good consumer.If you and your doctor agree that once a year is right for you,then go with that,even if you have to pay for it yourself.Better safe then sorry.
I know every time I have it done fear of cancer always grips me.What do I do if they say I have it? what if they miss it? how do I tell my family? what are the steps I need to do next?
I had mine done at Hubbard Regional Hospital,which is just down the road from where I work and has such I know allot of people who work there.Doctors,Nurse Practitioners,Secretaries and Aides.
Today on my way up to the test site I ran into my sisters' husband,Bill, and a secretary that was an Aid with me many years ago.
When I had my test done they decided to do a Sonar Gram related to several cyst I have had for many years.I felt somewhat confident because the person reading the xrays and Sonar Grams was a doctor from Beth Israel. His A-OK put me at ease.
But before we got all the way to the "your ok" part we had to straighten out some in correct paper work which went something like this... No I do not have a history of breast cancer,as your paper says and no Thats not the side with the cyst its the other side...of course I'm sure...they belong to me and I'm very aware of what is where...
Things like this misinformation have given me the feeling of I know why I hate doing these things.Its not the test, well yes it is, its also the mistakes.imagine if I were not so up on my history I would have been even more scared then I was..
Anyways one more year down and maybe they won't call me with something they've missed.I understand why people hate having these things done.the misinformation could scare you to death...But then so can the cancer...

Tiger Woods

When does privacy become public and what does the public have a right to know?
For the past week it seems like all I hear on the news is Tiger Woods.Not because of his golfing ability but because of a minor car accident and possible family fight.
I don't know about you but I feel like there is certain things that are really none of my affairs.
The media is a buzz about his hitting a fire hydrant and tree while speeding out of his driveway.Could it be marital problems? Did his wife smash his car window before or after the accident? Does he have a girlfriend on the side?
I just feel like it is really none of my business.The man has a right to settle his alleged family quarrels with his family.
Marriage can bring out the best and the worst in people and has such we all do and say stupid things in anger.
Who has not gotten into a argument with a spouse and drove out of the yard in anger? I know I have.Sometimes its important to just get away and clear your brain.Better to leave then say or do something bad out of frustration.
We tend to spend to much time worrying about how good or bad famous people are rather then understanding that they are people and need space,We don't need to know everything about every body.
I hope if this was an argument they can work it out together.The whole world doesn't need to play fortuneteller.
We need to all get a life and deal with our own issues.We are not perfect and neither our our marriages.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Plowing Through The Old Testament

For years now I have had a desire to find a good version of the Old Testament.
Several weeks ago my husband bought me an Orthodox Christian Study Bible,for an early birthday gift.
Each night I try to spend about 15 to 30 minutes reading this book.
After 75 pages I have learned about creationism,envy,anger,murder,likening one self to God,polygamy,slavery,circumcision,brotherly loath,destruction and incest.(Now I know where the 10 commandments come from,I think those people broke them all at least once.)
I also learned that Moses is the author of both Genesis and Exodus.Funny I never really thought about who wrote these books before.
I have read through the New Testament at least 6 times and it all seemed understandable and familiar to me,I have read allot about the Roman Empire,but this is different and alien.
In the past year, for whatever reason,I have suddenly connected the fact that in order to understand the New Testament fully,its important to understand the old.A connection has been made in my mind that we are one.Its like our family tree,we can live a good life understanding our parents and grandparents but its kind of nice to find out where we started and why we are who we are,how we got to this point,so to speak.
Fr.Peter tells us "we are reformed Jews".I guess we complete the full circle.
So day by day I plow along and I must say once I got to Joseph I decided that reading the genealogy of each family,at this point,is a waste of my time,it just overwhelms me trying to remember who is whose child and to top it all off God likes to give people new names.
My plan,for now,is I will just read through The Old Testament,then I will start over and try to get it some what straightened out.
I now understand why Jewish Scholars spend a life time reading and rereading these stories it is certainly challenging.Not being a quitter I plan to just keep reading until I finish.Hopefully in the end I will learn something and it will help me connect better to the New Testament.....we'll see....