Friday, July 30, 2010

Don't Rush Me!

Two weeks ago my friend Mary called me to tell me that her daughter,and also a friend of ours,Karen had decided to get married.
It is to be a last minute type thing with a Justice Of The Peace,food and a D.J..At that time I told Mary that we would love to come but since I was working that day we would not make it for the 2 pm service but would be there as soon as I got home and changed.
This seemed alright with her and she agreed.
On Monday I met Mary at work and she and I had lunch together.She mentioned that I should ask the scheduling coordinator to see if it would be possible for me to leave several hours early so maybe we could make it for the ceremony.
I got on my floor and left a message to which I will find out on Saturday if arrangements could be made for such a thing.
Last night I got home from Wal Marts and my sister in law called to see if we were going to the wedding Saturday and if so if Vic would want to go with them early and I could join them later.
To which I gave Vic the phone and walked away with hurt feelings.
First because I'm not sure where the road is to get to this wedding and second because I didn't want to arrive alone.
Today when I got home from work Mary boy friend called to give Vic directions and to inform him that we needed to get to this wedding as soon as possible and not be to late.
Vic,being a good guy said "Look we leave when Linda gets home and we get there when we get there."
I was very proud of him for standing up for me what a gallant guy he can be.
I always hate it when people forget that my job,especially on the weekends,does not allow for coverage.
I do not choose to be late for things and in return it upsets me when retired people think my time is not valuable and my being places depends on a time clock.
I am tired of being made to feel that I have to jump at every ones command and feel like a second class citizen because my schedule does not permit for me to make my own hours.
When I am at work I spend all day long trying to meet every ones,whims and desires not to mention time constraints.Some times I just wish I could come home and take my time getting ready for things because I feel I am worth it.
When things like this happen I want to yell "Don't Rush me! Can't you see I need some time to make myself pretty and feel like a female!"
Oh well what can you do every one is all about them and sometimes I would like things to be all about me.
Maybe I'm being selfish but I think sometimes selfish can be a good thing when you really need it.
Oh well pity party for me night....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Women And The Church

Many weeks now I have tried to come to an understanding that women and the church are united,in some way, with each other.
I have spent a great deal of my life in the Catholic Church and am now a member of the Orthodox Church.
Although I did not join my present church because I had a need to be a women in the church but rather because I needed to be a member of a very special faith which for me was and still is Orthodoxy.
Being a female in a male run church can be quite a challenge especially when it comes to trying to figure out where my place should be.
Most Orthodox Churches, as you may know,are not only ethnic based but also male run with women doing the feeding and men doing the leading.
It was not until 20 years ago that my own church allowed women to become members.And 5 or 6years ago that women became members on the board of our Church's leadership.So in some ways we're starting to progress in areas.
But being a different kind of woman now days then say 10 or 20 years ago makes me feel that the importance of women is underestimated not by the church but by the women members themselves.
It was not until today while speaking with our Fr.Peter,that it was make clear to me that women are considered very important by the Orthodox Church and in multiple capacities.
Although women are not allowed to serve at the alter they hold positions in the religion its self.
I have decided that it is high time I found out about such positions and bring these things forward to myself and the world around me.
They say that Orthodoxy is a well kept secret but let me tell you positions of women in the Orthodox Church are an even better kept secret.

The Sower

For many years now I have heard the bible story of Jesus' parable of The Sower.
This is the story of the man who went out and scattered his seeds in the field.
Some seed fell by the wayside and the birds of the air ate them.
Some on stony place and grew but since they had no root when the sun came out they withered and then died.
Some fell among thorns and as it grew was chocked by the thorns and died.
But some fell on good ground and yielded crops each of different multitudes.
You know its funny how sometimes you can spend an entire life time hearing and reading a story then one day all of a sudden it strikes you in a whole different way.
You hear it,as if for the very first time and see it in a whole new light.Feeling it pertains only to you.
I have always felt this story was just about different individuals and why they did or did not,have belief and faith in God,the sower.
The first seed never got to keep the word because of the birds,or the devil,devouring it.
The second got the word for a little while but had no roots so when hard times came it lost it's faith.
The third got the word began to root but lost it because of the greed in the world around it.
And the last not only got the word but took root and grew then multiplied producing fruit.
Now I'm sure this is what the story is about but all of a sudden it became clear to me that this is also about our own personal belief and growth into faith.
When we start out in faith we may spend time going to church or hearing a story but we take no stock in it and go and lead our lives like the birds of the air.
When faith or belief begins to take hold we hear the words of the bible feel they are wonderful stories but when times get tough we turn inward to our selves and try to solve our problems.We never develop into trusting God to help us,so we have no real faith..yet.
Next we begin to have faith and belief but we are in a world were religion is not welcomed.The people around us,whom we spend most of our time with, are all consumed by the worldly goods. So instead of our faith making an impact on others lives their worldliness makes a bigger impact on us.
Slowly we enjoy the pleasures and riches around us and we forget why we believe.Instead of us converting others to God they convert us to materialism.
Finally the last of the seed falls on good earth,takes deep roots and multiples much fruit.
This is,hopefully,were we all strive to end up.Being the person who not only believes in God and the faith but lives it.Helping to multiple our faith in not only our own life but the lives of others.
Being a bearer of good fruit.
Funny how just reading a simple chapter can bring a new world of knowledge.
What a great way to start a day.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Simon and Garfunkel had a song called "The sounds of silence".
We live in a world that is never silent.Always noises going on.Why at this very moment,while typing these words,a fan in my kitchen window is running.
Noise ever droning,pounding,clanging,ringing.No matter where we go sound is all around
No place to run and no place to hide.
Never being able to hear the ever present small voice deep within our very being.
How do we come to be with ourselves? or God? when sound is always there.
Even planned meditation can be difficult because there is never a moment of just plain quite.
The sound of a TV,car,truck,phone,voice,fan, music all coming from different directions.
What to do? where to turn? how to hear your very inner soul?
Even when we think we are alone in our minds we can not stop our own mental chatter.
How does God find us in all the noise? how can he speak to us so we can hear him?
His ever small voice needing to become a shout in order to get our attention
The constant noise makes my head ache and my mind spin in circles.
What is it we are all so afraid of that peace and quite can not be a part of our lives? Why do we not want to face us and who we are? what we've become? where we are leading ourselves? or worse yet, who is leading us?
Noise makes it difficult to concentrate on the things around us.
How can we pray and stay connected?
All this seems very difficult and we very simple by nature.
To much sound can make us physically ill,emotionally detached and spiritually drained.
Any effort can seem great and overwhelming.
So what to do? what to do?
Make silence a part of your life.
Turn things off,reconnect and become part of the world around you.
The bible talks of Jesus going off to quite places to pray and seek council from his father.I think if he were here today he would find such silence places almost impossible to find.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Get Out Of The Boat

Today's Gospel was about Jesus calling Peter out of the boat and walking on the water with him.
Now Peter was a very bold person and when he saw Jesus out on the water he decided to ask to join him.
Jesus called and Peter got out of the boat and was doing fine until he started to doubt and began to sink.
Jesus held out his hand and helped him to safety.
This story is not so much about walking on water as it is about doubt.
Both doubt and fear have nothing to do with God but everything to do with the other guy.
When we are on the right track doing the work of God if we begin to feel we are failing we start to doubt thus making us depend more on our selves and less on God.
I tend to think that if Peter doubted even though he had seen Jesus preform miracles then who are we to not also have these feelings.
It takes a brave trusting person to understand that they are weak and in need of guidance.To just allow ourselves to follow and not try to take control is contrary to our very human nature.
I know people in my life who are what is called "type A personalities." They need to lead and always be right being very much in control of not only themselves but those around them.
I tend to think people who are like this must have great fears that some terrible thing will happen and they will not know how to get out of it.
To them control is what keeps everything orderly and even when they do take chances they still need to control the actions in order to control the out come.
Faith does not ask us to control the out come.
Faith says do it and I will show you my out come.
Believe in me and no harm will come to you because you are my child.
Last week at our Festival we had an inflatable bounce house set up for the kids.
One little girl was very afraid and did not want to go in but with some encouragement she put faith in her mother and friend and went in.It took her great self control to face her fears but before she knew it she was not only in the house but having fun bouncing up and down with the other children.
Jesus tells us in the bible to have faith like a small child and we will gain our inheritance.
We are to,even when were frightened, be trusting and face our fears so we can be who God wants us to be.
Like the little girl in the bounce house we need to take the first steps in order for God to help us take the next steps.
Fear and doubt are the devils twin tools. They make something small seem so much greater then it is so we will cower in the corner and be frozen.
But even David faced his Goliath and knocked him to the ground because God told him he could and he listened.
So the next time you hear God tell you to step out of the boat try it and you may be surprised about how things work out.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Albert and Victoria

Not being very tired last night I decided to watch a movie on pay per view called "Victoria her younger years."
Victoria was a princess from England back in the 1840's.She gained the throne when her Uncle the King died,with no heirs,and she was the only child of the kings' brother,who had also passed away.
Victoria was very young and unprepared to be a queen since she had no formal education for such a role.
Her mothers' boyfriend wanted very much to rule the country by urging her to sign over papers making him leader until he felt she was old enough to take on the challenge,she was only 17 at the time and absolutely refused to sign.
Victoria was to meet and make friends with a prince called Albert from Germany.His uncle was concerned that the family keep up to date checks on the British Royal
Family and it was decided that Albert needed to go and befriend her.
When the two meet they were taken with one another and became pen pals.Both had much in common since neither had a father and Albert mother was gone from his life while Victoria wished her mother was gone from hers.
When the king died Victoria took the throne.
Suddenly she needed to get herself and her country on the right path but not knowing who to trust was an issue.
Albert got his uncle to make an excuse so he could come to the coronation and being a good student practiced the latest dances so as to be presentable for the ball after the event.
The days they spent rushed by and soon it was time for Albert to go back to Germany.
Since she was a queen he was not allowed to ask her to marry him,it was to up to her to ask him.When he left she promised to let him know when she was in need of him and he promised to be there when she called.
Several years later Victoria found her ruling to be very difficult to say the least and when she felt her whole world was collapsing around her she called her gallant Albert to come to her.
Together they found they had much in common and both decided they could not live with out each other so they wed.
Now being new to the ruling class and a man in need of a job Albert wanted to help Victoria rule the castle and the book keeping since he felt everything was inefficient.
Victoria spoke to the queen who was married to her deceased uncle the king who said "why not let him do this". Victoria told her Aunt that she had not done things like this for the king and the aunt replied "How do you know what I did or did not do for the king?"
So it was agreed and Albert did a house cleaning removing all the unnecessary and wasteful people hanging around.
Now being true to marriage Victoria began to feel shut out since she felt she should run everything and should not be assisted or treated like a lesser then her husband.They got into a heated argument with him sleeping in another room.
The next day while riding in a procession carriage together,Albert spied a man with a gun in the crowed and threw himself across the queen and was wounded.
All thought he would not make it and Victoria,who realized how important he was to her prayed in the chapel for his recovery.
Has Albert was getting well Victoria talked with the Prime Minister of England who told her how good a man Albert was. A man she could trust and count on.
When Albert was well enough Victoria had her desk and a desk for Albert moved into the bedroom for them to co-rule together.
Albert and Victoria had 9 children and ruled together for 20 years.At the age of 42 Albert got typhus and died .
Every morning for the rest of her life she had Albert's day clothes layed on the bed so she could look at them while she worked.
Victoria and Albert were champions for the poor and destitute.
If you have ever read any of Charles Dickens novels you will understand just how bad things were for the poor and orphaned in those years.
Queen Victoria was one of the longest ruling monarchs England had and the Victorian period was named after her because of her worldly influences and fashion styles during her reign.
After watching this movie I decided that love stories do happen and they're not just in fairy tales.
All the information gotten for this movie was gained through the correspondences of both Victoria and Albert and the movie was made with the assistance of Fergie the
duchess of York.
This is truly a great women's movie.I was moved to tears several times and it takes allot to make me cry at a get you popcorn and Kleenexe ready for a wonderful story.

Friday, July 23, 2010


As I have already mentioned in a previous post DPH has been in our facility this week.
Yesterday morning while attempting to prepare myself by getting all the 8 Am things done that needed to be done,so as to be time compliant before they walked on our floor,My DON (director of nurses),walked up to me said "Good morning and proceeded to tell me what needed to be taken care of.She then said "Do you ever smile?"
To which I said "Yes but right at this moment I'm trying to concentrate".
She said "Oh,OK".
As she walked away I thought to myself how can you smile when someone tells you to?
I mean I am one of the happiest people I know when it comes to staff,patients and visitors.Just because I have important things to think about does not mean I do not greet and meet well with people.
Later I got to thinking is this a woman thing? I mean how many jobs do men work at where they are told to smile?
It just seems to me like women are always expected to smile and be pleasures to everyone.
Now don't get me wrong a good attitude is always important and I feel that when I smile its because I want to not because I'm told to.
So I have decided to give smiling more of a chance.Maybe in some ways my DON is right and a little criticism can get one to thinking...
so here goes a big smile for everyone :) have a happy day and smile......

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Here's some points to ponder on how were different....

Womens hearts beat faster.
Men have larger brains but women brain contain more neurons.

When a woman says "I have nothing to wear".She means nothing new.
When a man says the same he means I have nothing clean to wear.

Woman offer unsolicited advice and give direction.
Men don't take advice very well.
The woman thinks she is trying to help while the man thinks she doesn't trust him to make the right decision.

When a women disagrees with a man he take it as disapproval and ignites his defenses.Men want advice after they have done everything they can do.Advice given to soon can cause a man to lose his sense of power.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed.
Woman are motivated when they feel cherished

Men are visual creatures,once an image is in their head its hard to get out.
Women are inclined to remember emotions or how something made them feel.

Men want to be alone and think about what is bothering him.
Women want to talk about what's bothering them.

In conflict men were more likely to feel disrespected.
Women on the other hand felt unloved.

Women have shorter vocal cords making her able to speak with less effort.
Women speak an average of 25,000 words a day.
Men speak 10,000 words per day.

Men can be simple while complicated.
Woman assume that men are as complicated and as intricate as they are.
Men do not think deeply all the time like women do.

Women want to be loved,valued,respected,listened to trusted and held,they want affection.
Men want sex.

Women are emotional.
Men logical.

Men give directions to women on how to do things in order to show protection.
Women emotionally feel they are being told what to do because they are not smart enough to figure things out.

So just remember the next time you are angry with your spouse it could be just a matter of men and women's points of view and nothing more.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


After 12 wonderful days of vacation I came to work on Tuesday morning to see that long awaited and may I add,dreaded white sign which says "The dept.of heath is at this time conducting its survey".The sign read they will be in our building until the 22 of July.
Now with quick calculations I discovered this day was to be the dreaded nursing day.So some one was to do this small but stress filled portion of the med pass with the state personnel at hand.
As I rode the elevator to my floor I quickly went over in my mind all the rules of the med pass so as to be ready if I ended up being the lucky girl.
Once on the floor I labeled,dated and wrote all the information needed on each pitcher and bottle.Then went over in my mind all the rights of distribution of drugs,right time,right drug,right patient,right dose and so on.
How to pour and measure,how to introduce,how to explain,what the interactions are,what is given in what order and on and on and on.
So here I felt pretty sure of my mission and to my surprise the surveyor walked right pass me and on to the other nurse.Oh well I needed the preparation and stress anyways.
These 5 days can be pretty nerve wracking especially for the supervisors,DON and administrator.Failing one of these surveys can mean their jobs.
I have come to the conclusion it is what it is and there are more important things to focus on besides people scrutinizing my movements.
My floor tends to be a bit on the laid back side.We enjoy each other and have for the past two days even had fun conversations with the DPH employees. One of the surveyors talked to me today about his years has a cna then lpn in the nursing home where he first started at the age 18.
You know people are people and it must very hard to walk into a building as a surveyor and be thought of as the enemy.True they are looking for faults but its their jobs and if they don't dig hard and find mistakes how can they justify being in the position their in?
Well tomorrow is their last day and hopefully we will get through the day and get back on track for the rest of the year.That is until we walk in next summer and see that white sign in the doorway again.

Monday, July 19, 2010


Yesterday after our churches' festival my husband and I assisted in the clean up.As I was busily helping to fold chairs one of the ladies working in the kitchen,asked me if I would like some tomatoes.
So thinking a few of those summer treats would be a nice thing to take home,I happily answered yes.Several minutes later she called back to me that she had left them on the picnic table next to the old raffle tickets.
As we proceeded to finish my husband jumped into his truck and reminded me about the tomatoes.When I walked over to the table a 2 pound plastic tub complete with cover sat there waiting for me.
I hesitantly opened it up and found to my and shock and amazement that it was filled with quarted sliced tomatoes.I thought to myself well this is a little more then my family can eat in a week.
Graciously trying to offer some of my new found gifts to others my advances were refused.So I took my bounty and headed home to worry about this mess tomorrow.
When I awoke this morning I decided the best thing to do with all these red beauties was to try and make spaghetti sauce.
Now not being Italian or very good with sauce making, I decided to try my luck with a recipe I found on the computer.It seemed rather easy and lets face it one of the ingredients was Burgundy wine so I could see this was a French friendly sort of sauce,possibly right up my alley.
Now as most cooks will attest to the problem with making any thing is you never fully have all the ingredients you need,and this was no exception.
So off I went to our nearest grocery store to buy what I did not have then to the package store to pick up a bottle of wine.What can I tell you I'm no Julia Child and besides if this whole sauce thing didn't work out I might need a few drinks,to drown my sorrow.
After about an hour I was home again and ready to start my summer project.
A pot of boiling water was started to put the tomatoes in so they would be peeling friendly then into ice water to stop the cooking process.This was all rather fun until I got to the part of removing the seeds,which made my hands quite slippery and one slice fell to the floor instead of into the blender.Oh well "Ce la vie".
Next came the sauteing of the vegetables and the adding of the rest of the ingredients.
Being rather warm today I decided to put everything into my crock pot and just let it simmer for the next 6 hours.
Now I'd like to tell you how wonderful my sauce turned out but I won't know about that until this evening because the prep time took me a while to say the least.
But that's alright. Today is my last day of vacation and tomorrow I go back to work. I have a feeling that spaghetti with home made sauce will be on the menu and you know what I think chilled Burgundy wine will also go quite nice.
Well "Bonn appetite".

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Festival At St. Michael Church

Well today was our yearly festival and to my great surprise I found out yesterday that my vacation had been extended to include today and tomorrow so I was able to assist in our picnic festivities after all..
My morning started out with a phone call from a desperate parishioner in need of my husband and his truck to pick up the kegs of beer on his way over to the church.
You must understand for some reason we at St.Michael like to do everything at the last minute and this morning was no exception.
So with the beer emergency my turn in the bathroom was second rather then first.
After getting a hurried goodbye kiss it was off he went,while I endeavored to do the best I could to look presentable for church and our up coming festival.
Once out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go I gathered everything I thought would be needed and ran out the door.
When I got as far as our local library I could not remember if after using the iron this morning if I had put it in a safe place and decided to return.Alas all was well and I was able to proceed with my plans.
Next it was off to my sister-in-law house to pick up her pastry for the Lady's ethnic bake sale then the post office to drop off some mail my husband snuck into my pocket book,when he left.
I was now on my way to church being only 15 minutes late for service,oops don't tell Fr.Peter he wont like that part.
Finely once at the church I quietly took my seat has Fr. Gregg continue with his service and thought to my self "oh my goodness is it hot in here,we are going to have steamy picnic".Right at that moment someone got up and put the overhead fans on,much to every ones relief.
After liturgy we greeted each other and I found out that Laura and I would be working at the raffle table.Oh how some jobs just seem hers and mine.
Now luckily we are pretty good with the charm and she and I just seem to be able to sell just about anything when we have a need to.
The day went quite nicely and the breeze was a welcomed relief.The food wonderful and the entertainment the best.
And although there were several emergencies like not fuel for the bar-be- que,my husband to the rescue again and someone tripping over a cord and dropping a pan full lamb kabob on the ground.We all made out alright in the end.
At 6:30 it was time for the drawings and much to our surprise Laura brother won first prize and my brother-in-law took second so we closed on a high note.
On our way home we personally delivered the winnings to Nick,our in-law. Vic told him he won because he was concerned at Fr.Peter where abouts and for his kind thoughts Fr.Peter smiled down on him and made him a winner,but then again Nick has always been a winner in my book.
So all in all we had another successful Festival and everyone walked away bonded to both new and old friends and isn't that what these festivals are really all about.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Bare Foot

Several weeks ago while leaving my brother in law house he looked down at my sandled feet and said "I don't know how you women can go around with those kind of shoes and not be cold?
I laughed and said "Nick if it was up to me I would walk around bare feet."
From as far back as I can remember I have always preferred no shoes to shoes.True sandals are a second running to nothing but barefoot,in my mind,is the way to go.
My dislike started right from the beginning always pulling my shoes off and running indoors or outdoors with nothing on my feet.Try has my mother might she just never could get me to understand the importance of proper footwear.
To me the earth under my feet is very tactile and comforting.
To this day when every I work in my garden the first thing I do is pull everything off my feet just so I can feel the cool,dry earth between my toes.
Shoes in my mind are way to over rated,expensive and very uncomfortable.
The only thing I hate more then shopping for shoes is shopping for a new pocket book,but lets not get on that subject.
Summer time is my footloose period.
The extremes of all different ground around me just makes me feel so much closer to nature.
The thought of walking in the damp grass in the morning,wet sand on the beach in the evening or the warm tar in the afternoon is all very comforting to me.
God gave us such wonders and we miss so much when we do not allow our selves the simple feelings of joy around us.
Like being children again we come to understand that some pleasures in life have to be felt in order to be fully appreciated.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Vatican New Revisions

Today while reading the Telegram and Gazette I came across an article about the Vatican.It seems they have issued a revision to its international laws making it easier to discipline sex abuser priest.
The Vatican will now use faster judicial procedures rather then full ecclesiastical trials.
Some feel this is just an adjustment rather then an overhaul because the new rules do not hold bishops accountable for abuse by priest on their watch,nor do they require them to report sexual abuse to civil authorities.
Now here is a part of this that floored me.
As I further read the article was the inclusion of the attempt to ordain woman in a list of the "more grave delicts" or offenses,which include pedophilia,heresy,apostasy and schism.
Now imagine the Vatican suggestion is that pedophilia is on the same level in punishment as ordination of women.The difference being that sexual abuse is an egregious violation of moral law while attempted ordination of woman is an offense on a sacramental orders law.
In 2007 a ruling was passed that made attempting to ordain a woman an offense punishable with excommunication.The new document says that any priest who tried to ordain a woman can now be defrocked.
The Vatican also added child pornography and sexual abuse of mentally disabled adults to the list of grave crimes.
They have also doubled the statute of limitations for abuse cases to 20 years from the victim 18th birthday. After that a priest could be removed from the ministry but not defrocked,unless the Vatican lifted the statute of limitations in the case.
I guess the one good thing with the Catholic Church is that while you might not agree with the rules at least they try to update and tell what the rules are.
We in the Orthodox faith do not always have these clear cut decisions so we tend to turn toward the Vatican and Catholic bishops to give us some direction when our own church has not given their advice on matters.

Numbers and Hours

My husband is a very numbers oriented person and as such considers them a very important part of his life.
Numbers to him are organized and logical and say allot about our world and universe.
I on the other hand,see no real reason for them unless they serve my purpose at a certain time,like how much is 40% off that cute blouse or skirt I'm eyeing on the sales rack and do I have enough cash on me.
When I was in college I needed to learn calculus and made the mistake of asking my husband to help me.After three sessions with him I decided it was not worth the anger or tears on either of our parts and taught myself.
Now don't get me wrong its not that Vic is not a good teacher it's just we are different in learning styles.
My husband is also into time he always wears a wrist watch and I never do unless at work,where times guides my whole life.
Just about everything I do requires times.When to give give medication,do treatments,take vital signs,arrange appointments,document and on and on.
So not wearing a watch reminds me I'm on my time not their time.
The thing about being a Christian is to many people worry about the numbers more then about what was gotten out of it.
How many chapters did I read from the bible today,how much time did I spend in prayer,how long was I in church,how long did the priest do his sermon,how many times did I pray today....Wow 5 times I must really be holy many people showed up for our events or services,how do we compare with the church across the street in time,talent,cash flow and on it goes.....numbers numbers,numbers.....
We spend more time playing with the numbers and the chapters and the verses then we do really paying attention and getting what we should out of what we've read or done.
No where in the bible does it say "Then Jesus said spend this amount of hours in prayer and you will attain the riches of heaven."
Instead he speaks of spending quite quality time with God.
It makes no sense to pray for hours on end if your more worried about what the clock says then what you or God say.
True reading and repetitive prayer is a good way to get you started but if all your doing is reciting words over and over and you put no feeling or understanding in what you are saying then you may as well be reciting the dictionary.
We live in a world where we exist on a time schedule our time is limited.We forget that our creator has no time line he is,was and always will be and the time we spend with him should be of quality not of limits and rules made by we humans.
How long you spend in prayer or readings depends on how much time you personally feel is what it takes to be at peace with you and the almighty at that particular session,the here and the now.
There is no magic hour or number that bring us nearer to God because if there where I'm sure Jesus would have said so.
Pray unceasingly but do so for the right reasons and your prayer and time will be well spent.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


When I was a child I was very shy and fearful and although I had no reason for such things,in my mind every fear seemed real.
My biggest fear was the darkness.I felt nothing good could come from such complete blackness and to my embarrassment I must admit it was the last thing as a grown person I let go of.
Fear is a terrible thing it put us in a position where we see no possibilities and can have a staggering mind and body numbing effect on us.
It does not allow us to move forward with our plans because we fear our failures before we even start.
I have come to understand that fear is not something instilled by God but rather it is a tool of the other guy to keep us ever in confusion and lacking in self determination and focus.
You can not step forward if you are frozen stiff.
Most fears are irrational and usually if we can work through them we begin to again see possibilities and avenues toward life.
It is very difficult to believe in God and allow him to lead our lives when we keep dragging this feeling of fear around with us always looking over our shoulders.
Has we mature in our Christian faith we are also suppose to mature in trust because like a good marriage if you don't trust the person you've decided to share your life with then your doomed from the start?
Faith does not mean theat we are not ever to be afraid,but it does mean that we are to work through our fear and understand that we are never alone and will never be asked to do more then God has chosen us for.
I'm sure that even Moses was afraid but he pushed through it anyways.
so we too have to learn to trust in God enough that his plan is our plan and he is ever with us even when we feel alone.
I can tell you living in a state of fear is not living at all because no matter how many times you solve your problem another will be in your face and then you will start the process all over,like a hamster in a will always be spinning in circles.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4th

Today is the 4Th of July and although I had to work it was still nice to know I belong to great country with all this freedom.
True we are very critical all year long about our leadership and each other but in the end we are a country living the dream and trying to keep our country balanced.
These past 18 months we have dealt with a liberal administration,house and senate and we know in a few years we may push the pendulum to the conservative side.
We have been a nation since 1776 and still we teeter from side to side trying to balance our nation trying for perfection for,which we will never do.
We are a melting pot trying to get along with each other and respect each but also standing up for our beliefs when need be.
We are not perfect but we're the best in the world and many people long to be a part of our life style,even if they do not always agree with us.
Today was also two of our patients wedding anniversary,unfortunately at present her husband is in the hospital so the nurse I work with and I bought her a card and red rose so she would know we were thinking of them and tonight the second shift nurse will take the time to call the hospital so this woman can wish her hubby a happy 57Th anniversary.
Funny whenever this patent and I talk about her marrying on July 4Th she tells me "and after the wedding it was fireworks for the rest of my life."
I hope she means that in a good way.
So happy independence day to all...

Thursday, July 1, 2010


The other day I was watching a comedian who was very anti God and religion.She said that the bible is just a book of fantasy stories.
As I watched her I began to notice how angry she was about God and religion and of course people who follow religion.
I could not understand where this intolerance came from.
Everyday in my life I deal with all different kinds of people.Different races,ethnicity's,languages and religious,or nonreligious,views.
I can admit that although I may at times be annoyed with people I don't think I have ever truly loath another person for the beliefs they hold.
If being an atheist is so wonderful,filled with little rules or guidelines,why would you despise someone just because they believe in a God and you do not?
It seems to me that you should be more tolerant of others,since you see no God,then how can you hate what you consider a fantasy? It would be like me hating a cartoon character.There would be no basis to my anger since there was no reality to the thing I'm intolerant of.
In order for me to truly hate and become angry over Mickey Mouse there needs to be a real Mickey Mouse or my dislike is just silliness.
Some times people are blinded by the things they do not believe in.
This woman is very in favor of all sorts of liberal ideas and feels everyone should be tolerant of every other person or idea but she in turn does not feel she owes people of religion the same respect,she wants them to give her ideas.
Tolerance is not a one way street and to be so hate filled and angry at another persons beliefs seems very odd to me.
Since I have never gone out of my way to encourage others to hate atheists,I would expect the same in reverse from a non God believing person.
After all how can you hate something you have no belief in anyways? And why do you care if I do believe in a God? After all my church going and praying does not in anyway affect your lack of belief?