Now that spring is upon us and the weather out side is bright and sunny my house is in a sad state of affairs.With Holy week last week and Easter on Sunday not much has been done here except the smallest chores.
Today was a good day to start to slowly attack all those overwhelming things that I steer at each and every day and say "I'll get to that on my next day off" but never do.
I started with the smallest room in the house,which always seems to take me the longest,the bathroom.You know it doesn't seem like something so compact could require so much time but it does and although I did a pretty good job on it I know that a full cleaning of walls and such will be put off until my energy level is a little higher.
You know life is like my spring cleaning it seems everything gets put off until the nice weather has come then looking at my life seems clearer and more in focus.
I'd like to say that resolutions seem to work out better at this time but they do not.All those things I promised to do in January seem to be slowly losing there appeal and the bright sunshine seems to be in every nook and cranny showing me the dust that has accumulated in my life.
This time of year I always vow to get rid of all the unnecessary things laying around cluttering up my house and my life.I always want to scale down my life to the minimum.I look at all the unneeded clothes and things I stored away through the winter months and think some one else could use that,since I am not.
I feel the same way about my emotions things I felt so close to and had such a need for seem to be stepping aside allowing new feelings to emerge,some good,some not so good.
Feeling are a funny thing many times they just get in the way and confuse us but then we refocus on new feelings and things seem alright again.
Suddenly I have this need to search and try to understand if where I am in my life is where I need to be or if some sort of change is about to happen which I can not fully comprehend as of yet.
Never put to much stock in feelings they tend to change with the weather but do put recognition into the gut feelings that could sway even the most cowardly of us to new heights and directions.What ever those directions may be.
Sometimes in my mind and heart I feel this need to just wander out into the world.No real destination just walk out the door,down the street and put just one foot in front of the other,its like a beckoning which I know at this point in my life is not a reality.
Its good to feel this need of freedom and its good to know that small changes in our lives can at some point lead us to larger and greater things.I am very fortunate I have a wonderful husband and son but I think the time has come to clear my mind and soul with some walks in the park or trails in the local forest.Sometimes being closer to nature allows me to be closer to myself thus helping to clear the dust from my brain and my soul.