While reading the newspaper I came across "Dear Anne".Seems some lady wrote about how she works and her husband,who is laid off,is now a house husband.He does a wonderful job of keeping the house clean, but becomes very annoyed when on her days off she gets up early,feeds one of her cats then takes the other dirty cats plates and lets them soak in the sink,to wash later in the morning.He is annoyed because he feels she is putting them there to remind him to wash them and feels used, unappreciated and criticized.
I also have a similar pet peeve,since I do not like to do dishes,I hate it when I'm almost done and someone puts dirty dishes near me that they just happened to find.
I know this sounds ridiculous and I know they are not doing this to get my goat but to be helpful but something deep inside of me feels used.
Its funny how we misinterpret innocent things,we take what is bothering us and make it into something it has nothing to do with.
I think if nothing else marriage is like that we don't see the little offenses that affect the other person.Mostly I think this all comes down to one person feeling overwhelmed or under appreciated by another person.
It has nothing to do with the dishes it has to do with the frustration of feeling not thanked enough.
Now I'll bet if this same woman came home one night and said "I love you and I want to give you a great evening go watch TV and I'll do the dishes" this same man would be less sensitive about the cat bowls sitting in the sink.
We tend to forget that what is done for another is done out of love and must be reciprocated for to fulfill the others needs.
I always say its the little things that will get you not the big things and this includes being married and staying together.
Its better to say thank you even when you don't realy feel like it then be alone with no one to thank and no one to do for you.